


Love found and lost

by rottnrotty



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Confinement, Derogatory Language, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Episode: s02e10, The family you chose, Underage Prostitution, Unethical Experimentation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-10-25 14:24:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10766055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rottnrotty/pseuds/rottnrotty
Summary: When Valentine wields the Soul Sword, and the posssibility of losing Magnus becomes a harsh reality, Alec realizes his true feelings.  Alec and Magnus trade "I love you's", both thankful to have made it through the current attack.  They vow to each other that nothing will keep them apart.Then Magnus vanishes into thin air, and no one, including Alec, has a clue where to find him.  How long do you keep looking for someone before you give up?  Can Alec live his life without Magnus?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set at the end of episode 2x10. It is totally a work of my crazy mind, and is nothing like the trailers for season 2b.

Magnus knew he should have been more careful. Too little too late.

The past 24 hours had been the most intense of his life, and as a centuries-old Warlock, that was saying something.  It had been like riding a never-ending roller coaster; 95% terrifying and 5% thrilling.  The Soul Sword had been activated, and Magnus's own words of wisdom were partially to blame.  He had lost countless Downworlder friends during the slaughter at the Institute.  Let's see, had he missed anything?  Oh yes, the whole Downworld was still in mortal jeopardy since the Soul Sword was now missing. 

Magnus had also been worried out of his mind for Alec, who was stuck in the Institute with a homicidal maniac.  Here he was, doing something he swore he would never do - risking his life for a Shadowhunter. Not just any Shadowhunter; a Lightwood, the son of past circle members Maryse and Robert Lightwood.

None of that mattered to Magnus.  It may have been irrational, and messy, and completely illogical, but he cared about Alec Lightwood.  More than he should.  And it had happened embarrassingly fast.

So when he _finally_  found Alec outside of the Institute, and was enveloped in those strong arms, Magnus was able to relax slightly.  They were alive, and together.

It would have been enough, but as usual, his Shadowhunter was full of surprises.  Alec was not known for being good with words, so the charming speech he gave left Magnus weak in the knees and unable to articulate his thoughts.  Then Alec said "Magnus, I love you," with total earnestness, and Magnus's whole world stood still.  Nothing compared to this moment.  It was better than tasting chocolate for the first time, or rubbing elbows with royalty.  

Was it any wonder that Magnus was a little preoccupied?

Magnus and Alec had said their goodbyes, all sweet kisses and murmured promises.  Both knew the aftermath of the night would be staggering.  They also knew their newly strengthened relationship would withstand whatever crap was thrown their way.

The adrenaline that had been keeping Magnus going was ebbing away, leaving behind bone-weary exhaustion.  Yet his mind was still racing, replaying the events of the night over and over again, as if he could force a different ending.  He kept walking, planting one foot in front of the other, willing himself to stay on his feet.  Once he was a little further away from the Institute, he would open a portal to his loft.  

He never got the chance.

Pausing in a small group of trees, Magnus raised his hands to create a portal.  Before the magic even left his fingertips, he felt a sharp sting on the right side of his neck.  A multitude of half-formed thoughts raced through his head, _vampire? syringe? some type of drugs? silent enough to sneak up on me?_ As he lost consciousness, he voiced his last coherent thought, "Alexander," and then everything turned black.

* * *

Alec had always thought of himself as pragmatic and stoic.  He was the one you could turn to for logical advice.  Always the voice of reason compared to his impulsive and wayward siblings.  

Now he was a frantic wreck, his heart flayed open and bleeding.

It might not show from the outside.  Alec was able to maintain his cool composure, systematically searching the Institute for Magnus.  Knowing that finding him in the building basically meant losing him forever.  That if he was in the Institute when the Soul Sword was activated, Alec was looking for a body.

So while he outwardly appeared in control, on the inside he was drowning.  No matter how many times he kicked to the surface, he was dragged back under again.  It had been this way since he first met Magnus.  The Warlock continually pushed his emotional boundaries, leaving him floundering.  Alec was never one to shy away from a hard decision, and usually was able to keep his head above the water.  This time was different.  Everything was out of Alec's control, and he hated it.

It's funny how a good dose of fear can clear your head. After hours of searching, there Magnus was, grabbing onto Alec's arm outside of the Institute.  The new, fragile relationship they were building suddenly became the most important thing in Alec's life.  Magnus was the one person he couldn't stand to lose.  And yes, it was a hard choice.  To be gay, and dating a Downworlder, it would be difficult, maybe the most difficult thing he had ever done. But also the best thing he had ever done.  Because Alec loved this man, and he was not afraid to say it.  Hearing it back from Magnus was like music to his ears.

Alec left Magnus with promises to carve out personal time for the two of them, no matter how bad things got.  No more excuses or wasted time, they were going to make this relationship a priority.

Unfortunately, even the best laid plans can go awry.

* * *

Magnus woke up with a head-splitting migraine.  His first thought was that he must be hungover.  Then more aches and pains made themselves known, and Magnus's memory came back in a sharp flash.  He hadn't made it home last night.  Someone or something had intercepted him outside of the Institute.

Opening his eyes, Magnus surveyed his surroundings.  He was on a stone floor, back propped up on an equally hard stone wall.  No wonder his neck was throbbing, he must have slept with his head on his shoulder.  He also remembered a pain in his neck before blacking out, and tried to raise a hand to the side of his throat.  Magnus sighed in frustration when he realized that his hands were bound together.  With not much hope, he tried to perform a small bit of magic, and was unsurprised when the attempt failed.  Whatever had been used to tie his hands must be keeping his magic subdued.

Not wanting to give up, Magnus continued his study of the area.  He appeared to be in some type of holding cell, with bars across the front.  There was an identical cell across the hallway, which was empty.  In one corner was a round bowl-like object, and Magnus thought hysterically, _at least I have a pot to piss in._   The only other item in the room was a worn blanket, pushed up against the wall next to him.

Magnus shakily rose to his feet.  He felt a little unsteady, but still able to function.  His legs were not bound, so he was able to move freely around the cell.  He cautiously made his way to the bars at the front of the room, looking out and down the hall.  What he saw took Magnus's breath away.  As far as his eyes could see in the gloomy light were replicas of the cell he was standing in.  He was being imprisioned.

A cold, menacing voice cut through the air, startling Magnus from his thoughts.  "Welcome to your new home, Magnus Bane.  Get comfortable, you are going to be here for a very long time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter, which was mostly setting the stage of the story.


	2. Chapter 2

Sleep was alluding Alec. Like water falling through fingertips, the rest he so richly deserved remained out of his grasp. He wished with his whole heart that he could be tucked into Magnus's bed, wrapped around his boyfriend, lulled to sleep by the rhythm of their joined heartbeats. 

Alec knew that was impossible right now.  In the bloody aftermath of the Soul Sword activation, both he and Magnus had work ahead of them.  Even now, after coming out as gay at his own wedding, the Institute Shadowhunters still looked to Alec as a leader.  He really needed to catch a few hours of shut eye if he was going to be of any use at all. 

It was Alec's own mind that kept him awake.  Overthinking things had always been a weakness of his, and even exhaustion couldn't stop his thoughts from racing. The past few hours had been full of revelations that Alec was still trying to make sense of. Jace wasn't Valentine's son, or Clary's brother. And he didn't have demon blood. Simon was able to go outside in the sunlight. Valentine had been captured. The Soul Sword was missing.

And perhaps, most importantly of all, he loved Magnus Bane, and Magnus loved him too.

Although he had parted from Magnus less than an hour ago, the urge to see and speak to his boyfriend was overwhelming.  Perhaps it would even help him sleep better. Alec sent Magnus a quick text, and waited for a reply. After a few minutes, his eyes started to droop, and he found it hard to stay awake.  Just concentrating on Magnus had inspired Alec's body to finally give into his fatigue.  Alec fell asleep with a sweet smile on his lips, phone still clasped tightly in his hand.

* * *

Magnus wracked his brain, but he was sure he had never heard that voice before.  "Who are you?" he asked croakily.

"Wouldn't you like the know?" the phantom voice answered, full of amusement.  

Footsteps echoed in the hall to the right of Magnus.  In the gloom of the dim lights, the shadowed shape of a man appeared.  "You may not know me, but I know all about you, Magnus Bane.  Were you aware that some people consider you the most powerful Warlock alive?  You are easily in the top five.  And beloved by the New York Nephilim.  So perfect for the game I have in mind."  

The apparition continued walking towards Magnus, and eventually came close enough for Magnus to make out his features.  "You're a Shadowhunter," Magnus gasped, having caught sight of the man's runes. 

"I expected the famed High Warlock of Brooklyn to be a little more suave, but yes, I am a Shadowhunter."  The man stopped in front of Magnus's cell, wrapped his hands around the bars, and gave an eerie smile.  "Maybe it's the drugs I gave you that are making you act so...mundane."

Magnus couldn't argue with that. His mind felt sluggish and slow, like he was running through sand.  He needed to concentrate, to gain as much information as he could.   _Pull it together Magnus,_ he thought, and bit hard on the side of his cheek to center himself.  It worked to a degree - the pain helped him focus, and the man in front of him shifted from a blurred outline to a sharper image.  Magnus worked hard on cataloging every detail.

He was tall, taller than Magnus.  Slight almost to the point of skinniness, all bones and angles.  Yet Magnus could tell he was stronger than he looked.  It was in the way he held himself.  Tall and sure, without a single whiff of self-doubt.  His hair was pale blonde, almost white, and his skin was translucently pale.  And his eyes.  Whether it was a trick of the light, or their true colour, his eyes appeared to be pure black.  They penetrated Magnus with a knowing gaze.

"See something you like, Warlock?" the man drawled, throwing Magnus a cocky smirk.   As quick as lightening, the man's mood changed, and he launched himself at the bars, reaching out to grab Magnus by the neck of his shirt.  "I know all about your perversions, you depraved pig.  If I ever catch you looking at me like that, I will carve your pretty cat eyes out of your head, and send them to your boyfriend."

Magnus couldn't help the slight shudder that ran through his body at the mention of Alec.  The man laughed, and released his grip on Magnus.  Turning his back to the cell, he uttered, "oh yes, I know the details of your romance with Alec Lightwood.  Fucking sickening, if you ask me."  Magnus scrambled back from the bars, landing on his ass with a thump.  The man turned back to him once again, eyeing Magnus with utter disgust.  "That's not why you are here, but it will add an extra layer to the fun."

Still staring at Magnus, he tilted his head, and a soulless smile slid onto his face.  "Let's see how Alec is doing, shall we?"  Slowly he slipped his hand into his jacket pocket, and Magnus was left wondering if this was it, this was how he was going to die.  Instead of pulling out a weapon, he grabbed a cell phone.  Magnus's cell phone.  "Password?" he barked.  Magnus was too stunned to answer.  "Let me make this decision easy for you. Tell me your password, or Alec will be down in this cell with you."

"fattytuna," Magnus replied, his head hitting his chest in defeat.  "All one word, all lowercase."

The man grinned manically while punching the code into the phone.  "Was that so hard?" he asked in a sickening sing-song voice.  "Look, it's your lucky day, there's a text here from your boyfriend."  His mouth grimaced in distaste while saying the last word.  He held the phone so that Magnus could see the screen if he looked up.

Magnus did his best to control his emotions, and keep his face a smooth mask.

"Not interested in what he had to say?  I'll read it for you. 'Can't sleep, wish I was with you.'  Aww, how sweet, your queer little boy toy missed you so soon."

The despair smothering Magnus was greater than anything he felt in his centuries of life.  It seemed that not only was he being held captive, but Alec was a potential target too.  Magnus pledged to keep his head clear, and figure out a way to keep Alec safe, even while locked up.

The pale man clicked his tongue and shook his head, before catching Magnus's gaze once more.  "Dear me, where are my manners?  All this idle chit-chat has gotten me off track.  Earlier, you asked who I was, and I've totally neglected to introduce myself."  Behind the pleasant tone, Magnus could hear threats and hatred.  "My name is Jonathan Morgenstern.  I believe you are acquainted with my father, Valentine?  It is my pleasure to have you as my guest."

As Magnus was processing this turn of events, Jonathan walked away from the cell, towards the hallway exit.  "Now if you will excuse me, I have somewhere important to be.  See you soon, Magnus."  The lights were shut off, leaving Magnus in complete and utter darkness, alone.

* * *

Loud banging woke Alec with a sudden start.  It took a few seconds before he realized someone was knocking on his bedroom door.  "What?" he managed to yell.

"Rise and shine," came Clary's perky voice.  Alec barely avoided groaning out loud.  "Aldertree has called a meeting, it starts in 15 minutes."

"Uh, thanks," Alec replied, and heard Clary's footsteps fade down the hall.  He still felt awkward around Clary, and wasn't sure if that would ever change.

Glancing over at the clock, Alec was shocked to see that a few hours had passed since he came to his room.  He has actually managed to grab a couple hours of sleep, but it sure didn't feel that way.  Truthfully, Alec felt almost as bad as he had before his nap.

Before leaving his room, he glanced at his phone.  No reply from Magnus.  That was understandable.  His boyfriend was either busy with Downworld business, or was catching up on sleep.  Either way, he'd answer Alec when he could.  Alec sent Magnus another short message, then made his way to the meeting.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter 2!
> 
> As always, let me know if you see any annoying mistakes.


	3. Chapter 3

~~~~Victor Aldertree was fiercely surveying the assembled Shadowhunters when Alec walked into the room. It took Alec a while to locate his siblings, and he was only able to find them due to Clary's vivid red hair. Jace stood slightly apart from Clary, his head unnaturally bowed in a submissive position. Isabelle also looked unlike herself. As usual, she was dressed to impress, but her appearance was more haggard than normal, her skin dull and her hair unruly. Neither of them were talking, and for once, Clary looked happy and relieved to see Alec walk up to her.

Alec smiled tentatively at the threesome.  "Hey, have I missed anything?"

Jace scowled, and without making eye contact, muttered, "nope, you are just in time to see Aldertree call me out in front of the whole Institute."  As an afterthought he added, "I'm probably going to lose my runes."

Clary reached out to grab Jace's arm, but he wrenched it away with force.   _Interesting,_ thought Alec.  What was going on between those two?  Last Alec had heard, Jace was going to tell Clary they were not brother and sister.  Whatever had happened, Jace seemed pretty hostile.

Clary's face flamed red in embarrassment, but she spoke up anyway. "That won't happen Jace.  We all thought if you touched the Soul Sword, it would be destroyed, Magnus and Dot included.  We will stand by you."  

The conviction in Clary's voice was apparent to everyone, and even Jace seemed to thaw a little.  Clary was passionate about what she believed in, and was an excellent person to have on your side when times got tough.

Aldertree cleared his throat, and the murmured conversations came to an end.  The man looked utterly spent.  "This is not a debriefing meeting.  I don't need to tell you all what happened here tonight.  It is now common knowledge throughout the Shadow World that the Soul Sword was activated in the Institute, and that many Downworlders lost their lives."  He paused and hung his head, before taking a large breath and continuing, "Now is the time for damage control.  Some of you have strong ties to the Downworld, and we will be utilizing those relationships to the fullest extent."

Alec felt pretty sure he knew where this was leading, so was unsurprised when Aldertree turned towards their little group.  "Clary, your step-father is a werewolf if I'm not mistaken?"

Clary glared at Aldertree with fire in her eyes.  "His name is Luke, and he is not my step-father.  He's the only dad I've ever know.  He is also one of the best men I've ever know.  And an exceptional detective."

"Yes, quite," replied Victor.  He didn't even appear to be listening. "I'll need you to negotiate a meeting with him.  Having a pack alpha on our side could go a long way."  He smirked, and added, "bring in your little vampire friend too.  What can it hurt?"  Clary looked outraged.

Victor then locked eyes with Alec.  "Of course, you will need to contact Magnus and have him return to the Institute as soon as possible.  The High Warlock of Brooklyn has the ear of the Downworld, so his support could soothe a lot of the tension.  He can also explain how Valentine got past the wards."

Alec rolled his eyes, and replied, "I'll let Magnus know you want to speak with him, but I'm not using our relationship to force him to the Institute.  That would be entirely unprofessional.  He'll contact you to set up a meeting."

"Fine," barked Aldertree.  "If anyone else here is closely acquainted with a Downworlder, please come to my office sometime and let me know."

The crowd started shuffling their feet, assuming that the meeting was over.

"One more thing," Aldertree said.  "It wasn't just the Downworld that suffered losses.  Many Shadowhunter lives were taken as well.  There will be time to properly mourn our comrades soon.  Right now, I'm here to introduce you to the new Shadowhunters joining the Institute.  They were handpicked by the Clave, and all have special training or knowledge that will help locate the Soul Sword and win the battle against the Circle."

Alec didn't feel too bad about zoning out.  He was terrible with names, and would never remember these people from the first introduction Aldertree was giving.  His thoughts slipped to Magnus.  Aldertree had tortured a high-ranking and well respected vampire not too long ago.  Was Magnus safe coming to the Institute?  Alec knew Magnus was extremely powerful, but he also knew Aldertree was sneaky and deceptive.  

A sharp elbow in his ribs brought Alec out of his thoughts.  "This one is cute," purred Isabelle, fluffing her tangled hair.  Aldertree introduced the young man as James Carstairs.  Izzy cocked her head to the side, and whispered, "didn't he used to be a Silent Brother?"

Aldertree's voice rang through the room.  "And last, but not least, please welcome Sebastian Verlac to the New York Institute."

* * *

It was fair to say that Magnus was terrified.  He had been in perilous situations before, but never anything quite this nightmarish.  His current confinement seemed well planned, and unlikely to end any time soon.  Magnus knew of Valentine's experiments with Downworlder blood, as well as on Downworlders themselves.  He could only guess that his maniac of a son planned to continue the legacy. 

Magnus was used to relying on his charming personality and ability to weave words into pretty speeches to get him out of bad situations.  It didn't look like it would work this time.  If Jonathan was anything like his father, he would despise Magnus for being a Downworlder. The fact that he was in a relationship with another man was just adding fuel to the fire.

Figuring out Jonathan's plan was crucial, and Magnus decided to dedicate his energy towards accomplishing that goal.  It was just so hard to focus, and he was so very tired.  He hoped that having a nap might help clear his mind, and slouched down the wall, using his threadbare blanket as a pillow under his head on the hard stone floor.

A loud clang jolted Magnus awake.  The dim lights were back on, and he was able to distinguish someone moving swiftly away from the cell across from his.  He could tell from the body shape it wasn't Jonathan, but was unable to decipher much else is the shadows.

Crawling forward on his hands and knees, Magnus looked into the opposite cell.  It was now occupied by a man of indeterminate age, sporting pointy ears and a slight spring green tint to his skin.  One of the seelies.  Jonathan was targeting and capturing Downworlders.

Magnus yelled across to the man, "do you know where we are?"  Desperation was clawing at his throat, making it hard to swallow.  He needed to get out of this place.

The seelie opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out.  Wait, on second thought, he was speaking - Magnus could see his lips moving.  There was just no sound.  The cells most likely has soundproofing runes drawn on the doors.  An effective way to keep prisoners from communicating, and drive them mad with loneliness.  

Magnus turned away in defeat, and from the corner of his eye, saw the newcomer slouch over in despair too.  He let a small whimper escape from his throat, before pulling himself together.   _Come on Bane,_ Magnus thought, _you are a High Warlock.  You can't fall apart now._

The impromptu pep talk did the trick.  Magnus's mood swung from despondent to irate, and he smashed his bound hands down on the ground violently.  For the briefest moment, blue sparks shot from his fingers, and a small crack materialized where he had struck the stone. The magic left as suddenly as it came, but for the first time since waking up imprisioned, Magnus felt a small shard of hope.

* * *

The meeting wrapped up, and the majority of the newly recruited Shadowhunters seemed content to follow Aldertree around, sucking up to the important Clave representative.  The only new person left remaining was the young nephilim who had been introduced as James Carstairs.  Alec decided to approach the man and put his leadership and diplomacy skills to good use.

"Hi James, welcome to the New York Institute," Alec said, holding out his hand for the other man to shake. 

"Please, call me Jem," the Shadowhunter replied, grabbing Alec's hand and shaking firmly.  Izzy was right, Jem was good looking.  Extremely good looking.  He had dark brown hair, so dark it was almost black, with a striking silver streak in it.  His eyes were a beautiful brown, with golden flecks, and their shape hinted at Asian ancestary.  He was only slightly shorter than Alec, but appeared to be around the same age.

"Jem?" Izzy croaked, looking quite shocked. "I've heard Magnus mention you."

Jem's face broke into a wide, sunny smile.  "You know Magnus?" he asked cheerfully.  "He's one of the reasons I accepted this posting.  In fact, he's the main reason!  I'm looking forward to seeing him again."

"How do you know Magnus?" Isabelle asked.  

"Magnus and I go way back.  We were friends in another time, when I was a different person, and I'm rather hoping his unique outlook on immortality will help ground me in my current situation."

Alec couldn't help the surge of jealousy he felt.  Meeting people from Magnus's past was never easy, especially when they were gorgeous and had known Magnus since before Alec was born.  Was Jem a past lover?  It made Alec a little nauseous just thinking about it.

Jem didn't notice the change in atmosphere.  "I'm actually supposed to be looking for Alec Lightwood.  Victor told me if I wanted to see Magnus, his boyfriend Alec was the person to talk to.  Do you know where I could find him?"

"That's me," Alec answered, and felt a huge weight lift off his chest.  Jem already knew that Magnus was dating someone.  Hopefully there would be no problems.  "Did Aldertree really call me Magnus's boyfriend?"

"Well, no," Jem admitted.  "When I expressed my desire to meet with Magnus, Victor told me he couldn't help, and I should talk to Alec Lightwood.  Of course, all of Idris was gossiping about your wedding, so I had heard your name before.  And when you and Magnus became an official couple, news spread through the Clave like wildfire.  You are actually quite famous."  

Alec wasn't sure what to do with that information.  "Ok, well...uh, I'll get a hold of Magnus and let him know you are here."  Izzy was clutching her stomach, shaking with laughter.   _At least someone is enjoying this,_ Alec thought.  "For now, let's get you settled into your new room."  

"Lead the way," said Jem, shooting Alec another one of his killer smiles.  

" **We** would love to," Izzy said charmingly.  "You can let us know if the rumours we heard about you are true.  Don't worry, I won't hold any of your secrets against you.  The only thing I hold against people is my body."  Isabelle grabbed Jem's arm, leading him to the living quarters of the Institute.  "Now tell us, were you really a Silent Brother?"

Alec followed behind the pair, shaking his head at Izzy's bold flirting display.  He quickly checked his phone, and there was still nothing from Magnus.  Should he be worried?  Or was Magnus just catching up on some much needed rest?  He was a deep sleeper.  Alec tried to call Magnus, but got voice mail.  He left a message, summing up the meeting as well as informing Magnus about Jem.   _If I don't hear back from him by tomorrow morning, I'll go to the loft and kick his ass,_ Alec thought.  Satisfied with his plan, he tucked his phone away and tuned back into the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've read TMI and/or TID, you will know I'm screwing around with Jem's backstory a bit. I have no plausible explanation for why he is not a silent brother anymore, you will just have to roll with it :) Basically I love Jem and really wanted him in this story.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading chapter 3, and for all your comments and kudos, it means so much to me!


	4. Chapter 4

Magnus tried desperately to use his magic again, but each attempt failed.  It was so frustrating.  His tentative feelings of hope were now wilting in his chest like an unwatered flower, and his energy level was rapidly depleting with each new effort.  It was time to take a break.

Not a moment too soon.  Jonathan Morgenstern silently entered the prison, making his way over to Magnus with a swagger and a smile.  The seelie in the opposite cell shrunk back into the shadows.

"I see our new guest has arrived.  There will be plenty more new additions in the next little while, don't worry about being all by your lonesome."  Jonathan gazed down at Magnus, who remained sitting on the stone floor.  "Tell me, have you figured out why you are here?"  The question was asked so politely, in any other circumstance this could be a normal conversation between friends.   _This sick fucker can be charming when he wants to be,_ thought Magnus.  It was a scary realization.  Magnus knew from experience that sometimes the most vicious snakes hid behind a sweet, friendly exterior.  Usually by the time you figured out their true personality, it was too late. 

As much as Magnus didn't want to converse with a lunatic, he knew the only way to gain more information was to get Jonathan talking.  "You'd like my educated guess?" he asked, trying to keep his voice civil.  He rose to his feet, meeting the Shadowhunter's eyes through the bars.  "I think you are collecting Downworlders for experimentation.  Carrying on your father's legacy, following in the old man's footsteps."

Jonathan was nodding along with Magnus's words. "Very good Warlock, very good.  That is one part of my plan."  His smile turned cruel as he continued, "however, that is not what I have in mind for you."

It was hard to keep the confusion off his face, and Magnus could tell he was being read like an open book.

"I'll give you the details later.  Right now, let's see what Alec is up to, shall we?"  Jonathan pulled Magnus's cell phone out.  "Oh look, a new text and a missed call with a voice mail.  How lovely."

It took all of Magnus's willpower not to rush at the bars and try to pry the phone out of the Shadowhunter's hands.  Just hearing Alec's name come out of Jonathan's mouth made Magnus's skin crawl.

"I'm a little disappointed, this text is nothing special.  'On my way to an emergency Institute meeting called by Aldertree.'  No 'I love you' or anything.  Do you think your fruity friend is growing tired of you?"

Magnus couldn't control himself any longer.  "Why are you such a homophobic prick?  It seems like you are protesting to much.  Maybe you secretly long for a bit of the sausage?"  Magnus expected Jonathan to fly at him in a rage.  Instead, the Shadowhunter leaned back and studied Magnus, muttering "interesting" under his breath.

"Let's move onto the voice mail, shall we?"  Jonathan put the cell on speaker phone, and Alec's clear voice rang out.  It almost brought Magnus to his knees.

"Hey Magnus, it's Alec.  So the meeting was quite eventful. Aldertree demanded your presence at the Institute ASAP.  Don't worry, I told him to shove it, and that you would contact him to arrange something. Heads up though, he's pissed about Valentine getting passed your wards, so get your explanation ready."  There was a slight pause, and Magnus could hear Alec draw in a lungful of breath. "I also met one of your friends at the meeting.  The Clave sent a bunch of new Shadowhunters to the Institute, and Jem Carstairs is one of them. He is anxious to see you." Another slight pause. "Anyway, Magnus, I uh....better go.  Call me back when you get this.  I...I love you."

If hearts could bleed from words alone, Magnus would be dead on the floor.  This was only the second time Alexander had said 'I love you', and here Magnus was, stuck behind bars, with a psychopath scrutinizing his every reaction.  It was so hard to keep his feelings in check.  Magnus felt a small tear roll down his cheek, born of love and fear and frustration.

Jonathan must have gathered all the information he needed.  He turned away from Magnus, and made a beckoning motion with one hand.  Two very large, muscled men made their way down the hallway.  Jonathan opened the cell door, and the two men slipped in.  They each grabbed one of Magnus's arms, and pinned him to the hard stone wall.  Smiling smugly, Jonathan ambled over to Magnus, twirling a syringe in his hand.  "Don't fret, Warlock.  This syringe is not for any noble experiments.  It contains run of the mill knock out drugs."  He leaned into Magnus's personal space, and whispered in his ear, "I'm not going to experiment on you.  Oh no.  My plan is to break you.  I will see you bent and broken before me, and ready to fulfill my every wish."  He jammed the syringe into Magnus's neck and pushed the plunger.  As Magnus lost consciousness, he heard Jonathan say, "did I mention I saw Alec today?  I'll be seeing a lot of him at the Institute."

Magnus screamed in agony and terror as a wave of blackness crashed over him.

* * *

Alec woke up to the screech of his alarm at 6am.  His first thought was to check his phone, and his heart sank when there was no message from Magnus.  It didn't matter how early it was, he needed to get to the loft as quickly as possible.

The Institute hallways were mostly deserted this early in the morning, so Alec was surprised to see Jem practicing with a staff in the training room.  Jem noticed Alec walk by, and jogged out to greet him.  "You are on the go early.  What's going on?"

"I'm worried about Magnus.  I haven't heard from him since yesterday morning."  Alec ran his hand through his hair nervously.  "It's just not like him."

Jem nodded slowly.  "I agree."

"I'm going to his loft to check on him.  I'm hoping he's just crashed into a very deep sleep, but I can't wait around any longer."  Alec had started walking towards the Institute entrance again, with Jem following along in his wake.  

"I'll go with you," Jem said.  Alec was about to protest, but Jem laid a hand on his shoulder and looked up at him, saying, "please Alec, let me come.  Let me help."

Having company wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, and it might even help keep Alec focused.  He nodded his head quickly at Jem, and the two men rushed out of the Institute.

*** 

An hour and a half later, Alec and Jem were back, standing outside of the Institute.  Magnus was not at his loft, and most likely hadn't been since Alec last saw him.  Panic was setting in, curling at Alec's gut and squeezing his chest.  

"Calm down Alec," Jem said kindly, grabbing Alec's arm to stop his frantic pacing.  "Stick with the plan."

Right, the plan.  So far, the plan was to gather Izzy, Jace and Clary outside.  Alec needed backup.

When the other Shadowhunters had arrived, Alec explained the situation as succinctly as possible. "I haven't heard from Magnus since yesterday morning.  I've phoned and text, with no reply.  He's not at his loft.  I asked you to meet outside because I want to keep his absence quiet, at least until I figure out what is going on.  I don't need Aldertree declaring him a traitor or something stupid like that.  I need your help to find him."

Alec was extremely thankful that no one mocked him.  They didn't call him overprotective, or say he was overthinking things.  They just stood in silence, waiting for his orders.  

"Magnus took Madzie to his friend Catarina's.  There is a possibility he is there, but I don't have her contact information.  Clary, I'm hoping Luke can help.  Maybe through his Downworld or detective associates, he can track her down?"

"Good idea Alec," Clary said, pulling out her phone.

Izzy sent a half-smile her brother's way.  "I'll talk to Raphael.  He's close to Magnus, he may be able to help."  Alec opened his mouth to reject the offer, but Izzy spoke first.  "It's ok big brother, I'm fine.  Let me do this for you."

"Ok.  Great."  Alec felt his panic receding as he took control of the situation.  

"What do you want me to do?" Jace asked.

Alec pulled a necklace out of his pocket.  "I want you to try and track Magnus, with this."  He slipped the necklace into Jace's hand.  "If you need to use our parabati bond to increase the strength, let me know."

Having dealt out everyone's tasks, Alec had nothing to do but wait.  He knew that would most likely kill him, so he motioned to Jem.  "Walk with me?" he asked, and the other Shadowhunter fell in step beside him.

"You are an exceptional leader," Jem murmured.

"I don't know about that," Alec answered.  "I get overridden a lot.  Accused of being a buzz kill, and following the rules too much."

Jem smiled at Alec sweetly.  "Coming out as gay and dating a Downworlder is not really following Shadowhunter rules.  You are true to yourself, and your friends and family respect you for it.  Don't be hard on yourself."

"It's difficult not to be, when you grow up being told try harder, be better, uphold the righteous Lightwood name."  Alec rolled his eyes, but smiled back at Jem. 

"Sometime, I'll tell you a story about the Lightwoods I knew, and you won't be worried about bringing dishonour to your family name anymore."

Alec's smile grew wider.  Jem was so easy to talk to, and so understanding.  Jace thought it was hilarious to imply that Alec hated people, but it was actually fairly true.  He had a close circle who he would do anything for, but didn't let new people in easily.  Hitting it off with Jem was a very pleasant surprise.

Guilt flooded Alec full force when he remembered that they were supposed to be looking for Magnus.  How could he be smiling and making friends while his Magnus was missing?  His head drooped, eyes sliding off Jem's face and down to the ground in shame.  Just then a sliver of red caught his eye, and he stooped forward, his breath catching in his chest.  He recognized the object before he even had it in his hand.  Grabbing it, Alec sprang up and ran back to the group, Jem once again trailing behind him.

Everyone started talking at once.

"Luke got a hold of Catarina.  She hasn't seen Magnus since he brought Madzie over," Clary said.

"Raphael didn't answer his phone, but he usually sleeps during the day.  I left him a message."

Jace said, "I'm not picking up anything Alec.  His location is being cloaked."

Alec held up his hand, signalling them all to silence.  "I found this."  He held up the omamori he had given Magnus.  "Magnus was holding this when I saw him last.  It's...it is very special to him.  He wouldn't just drop it."  Alec's voice cracked as the horror of the situation snuck in.  "I think Magnus has been kidnapped."

* * *

This time when Magnus woke up with a ragging headache, he remembered exactly where he was, and who was responsible.

"Good morning, Warlock," Jonathan said cheerfully.  "I'm on my way to the Institute to see your darling Alec.  Can you believe that the Clave sent me to help?"

"No, I really can't," muttered Magnus.  He knew the Clave was corrupt, but he didn't think they were this stupid.

Jonathan chuckled.  "To be fair, I did borrow someone else's name."  He contemplated Magnus with a serious face.  "How are you feeling today?  Headache?  Nausea?  Aches and pains?  Those are all side effects of the drugs from last night.  I can make it all go away.  Just pledge your loyalty to me."

Magnus rose and stalked toward the front of his cell.  "Never going to happen," he spat at the Shadowhunter, disgust visible in his eyes.  

Jonathan was unmoved by the display.  "I knew you'd be a tough one to crack, Bane.  I'm in no rush.  Besides, I've figured out exactly what will break you.  You will be begging for my mercy on your hands and knees." 

"You have no idea how strong I am, or the terrible experiences I have endured.  There is nothing you can do to me that will bend me to your will."

"So sure of yourself," purred Jonathan.  "Yes, I've already figured out your physical and mental strength.  I don't think the conventional methods of torture will work."  The Shadowhunter leaned in close to the bars, and waited until he was sure he had Magnus's full attention.  "Your weakness is love, and I plan to destroy everyone and everything you care about."

 _Do not give him a reaction.  Do not let him see how badly this is affecting you._ Try as he might, Magnus could not help but close his eyes, and a whispered "Alexander" slipped out of his mouth.

The smile on Jonathan's face was pure evil.  "Exactly.  I'm glad we are on the same page.  Have a wonderful day imagining me at the Institute, getting to know your precious 'Alexander'."

Magnus wanted to curl into a ball and cry.  But he was not lying when he spoke of his strength earlier.  Magnus had withstood and lived through more ugly moments than he could count.  He would not let a homophobic maniac break him.   _Stay alive, and stay alert_ , he thought to himself.  Magnus prayed that Alec would do the same.


	5. Chapter 5

Informing Aldertree that Magnus was missing went about as well as Alec had predicted.  Since there was no real evidence to support a kidnapping, Aldertree was working on the theory that Magnus was a spy, a coward, or both.  The only thing Alec had going for him was that Aldertree wanted to keep Magnus's disappearance a secret.  If the Downworld knew that the High Warlock of Brooklyn had vanished, the tremulous control being maintained since the Soul Sword activation would be snapped like a too-tightly strung wire.

So while Alec didn't get the extra help he'd been hoping for, he had convinced Aldertree to let him search for Magnus, using his own team.  Ok, so Clary wasn't fully trained, Izzy was suffering from withdrawal symptoms, and Jace was enemy number one in the Downworld.  Alec was still thankful to have these people, his family and friends, willing to help.  When Jem offered his assistance, Alec was surprised that Aldertree approved.  "Victor has been rather unfriendly since learning about my past," Jem explained.  "I think he wants me out of his hair. Apparently loving a Downworlder isn't an asset around here."

"I figured that out a while ago," Alec confirmed, raising his eyebrows at Jem.  "I'm sorry, I never thought to ask you more about yourself."

"Don't be crazy," Jem scoffed.  "Look, it's obvious how much Magnus means to you, and I want to find him too.  That's all you have to worry about right now."

Alec needed to know something before he accepted Jem's help.  "The Downworlder?  The one you...uh...loved?  It wasn't....it isn't...is it Magnus?"  Alec knew he sounded like a stuttering idiot, but he couldn't help himself.  He had started to really like Jem.  Considered him an ally, and could see them becoming friends.

A startled laugh escaped Jem's mouth.  "No, I'm not in love with Magnus.  We've never been more than friends, and never will be."  Jem's face turned somber, and he gazed up at Alec with a wistful expression.  "I've loved, really and truly loved, two people in my life, and I lost them both.  My first love was illegal.  The second was forbidden, or at least deeply frowned upon."  Jem took a step closer to Alec, and rested his hand on Alec's bicep.  "We have more in common than you think."  He gave Alec's arm a tight squeeze before letting go.

Alec was intrigued.  Jace and Izzy were loving and supportive, but they didn't understand what he was going through by choosing Magnus.  "I hope that sometime in the very near future, we are able to swap stories."  Alec paused and sighed.  "Right now, I need to focus on a strategy for finding Magnus."

"Right. What's the next step?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead," Alec admitted, rubbing the back of his neck restlessly.  "I was going to call a meeting, get everyone together, and see what ideas come up."

Jem pursed his lips and nodded.  "That's actually really smart Alec.  You should invite Magnus's Downworld friends too."

Alec was silent for a moment while he processed Jem's words, then cautiously said, "we would have to meet outside of the Institute, and leaving isn't safe for Jace right now."  He frowned, and continued, "I'm not sure how he'll feel about being benched."

Jem seemed to have an answer for everything.  "Just find him an important job he can accomplish from the Institute," he shrugged.

"Yah...yah, that will work Jem."  Alec looked at Jem with sincere gratitude.  "And you say I'm smart.  You are the one with all the good ideas."  Alec swung his arm around the other man's shoulders.  "Let's go assemble the team."

***

After talking to Luke, they decided to meet at the Jade Wolf.  Some of the pack members were pissed off about Shadowhunters in their territory, but Luke thought it was important to maintain a united front.

Alec had left Jace back at the Institute.  He was tasked with 'gathering intel', which boiled down to spying on Aldertree and rifling through any reports he could find on Magnus.  If anyone could pull off getting under Aldertree's skin, it was Jace.

At first, they didn't know how to start.  They had gotten accustomed to dropping their problems on Magnus's doorstep, and letting the Warlock deal with the mess.  Alec had leadership experience as temporary head of the Institute, but he was in no shape to spearhead the meeting.  The gravity of the situation had finally caught up to him, and Alec was clinging on to his sanity and resolve by the tips of his fingers.  He could feel the familiar weight in his lungs, the sensation of drowning sneaking back up on him like an unwanted enemy.

Luckily, Jem was able to get everyone talking.  Simon assured them that Raphael and key members of his clan were doing nonchalant digging into Magnus's whereabouts.  Luke was working the police angle, taking advantage of all the resources the NYPD had to offer.  Izzy offered to comb through Magnus's loft, looking for clues or anything out of the ordinary.  Clary set up a time to visit Catarina; as the second last person who saw Magnus, maybe she'd have some insight.

That left Alec and Jem.  "What should I do?" Alec asked dolefully.  No one had an answer.  Alec had been such a mess when Jace, his parabati, his brother, had been gone with Valentine.  Dealing with the disappearance of his first real love was bound to be even worse.

"You should keep the records," Jem finally answered.  "We will report to you, and you can collect all the data.  That way, you can study each bit of information as it becomes available, and nothing will get missed."

Murmured affirmatives came from the group.  Everyone knew Alec was good at reports and paperwork.  Hopefully this would keep him busy enough to not lose his mind with worry.  "Let's make sure we have each other's numbers," Alec said.  "We should communicate by group chat to keep everyone in the loop."

Once the numbers were exchanged, Jem spoke up.  "I'm new to the city, so I don't have the contacts or knowledge you all do.  But I want to be useful.  I will contribute in whatever way you think is best."  He made eye contact with each of them in turn.  "If you need help, please get in touch with me.  For grunt-work, backup, hell even to bring you lunch!  I'm serious, I'll do whatever it takes to bring Magnus back."  No one doubted the sincerity shining from Jem's face or in his voice.

The group scattered, promising to use the chat to provide any updates.  Alec found himself walking back to the Institute alongside Jem.  He knew he wasn't being very good company, but he was unable to talk, bogged down by the terrible thoughts running through his brain.  The worst one of all, the one that kept poking him like a jackhammer, stabbing him over and over;  _was Magnus dead?_

 _There is absolutely no evidence for that,_ Alec told himself firmly.  He could not let himself give into fear this early.  He stopped dead on the sidewalk, shaking his head a little to clear it.  Turning to Jem, he faked a smile and said, "thank you.  For what you said, and for helping look for Magnus.  You are a good friend to him."

Jem returned Alec's smile with a real one of his own.  "I'm not just doing this for Magnus, I'm doing this for you too, Alec."  Jem started walking again, and after a moment of hesitation, Alec strode to catch up, analyzing Jem's words and tone of voice for the remainder of the journey.

* * *

Magnus had an excruciating day of watching other Downworlders being led in and out of the prison cells.  Sometimes they came in on their own two feet, other times they were dragged in, either unwilling or unable to walk.  Anyone that arrived still conscious was pulled out of their cell not long after, and returned crumpled and muddled.  Magnus wished he could communicate with his fellow prisoners.  It didn't take him long to discover that they could hear and speak to each other, it was just himself that was affected.  His cell was sound-proofed, and Magnus mentally congratulated Jonathan on a job well done.  Magnus was an extrovert, and being shut off from human contact while the people around him interacted was sure to chip away at his mental health.

Whenever he felt despair clouding in, Magnus refocused his feelings on rage.  He had discovered that being really angry allowed a tiny bit of his magic to seep out.  He had been practicing all day, and could draw on his power 8 times out of 10 attempts.  He wasn't able to control it, and it wasn't enough to actually do anything helpful, but it was a start.  Something Magnus could work on, to stave off boredom during the long, lonely hours he spent in his cell.  It gave him hope again, which Magnus hadn't felt since he cracked the floor after his first temper outburst.

At this point, Jonathan had been gone for a long time, and Magnus was starting to get antsy.  It was nice to have a break from his spiteful comments and foul, evil stares, but if it meant Morgenstern was spending time close to Alec, Magnus would take the abuse every time.

He literally had nothing to do but sit around and wait, a concept foreign to someone as worldly and enigmatic as Magnus Bane.  How long could he watch others be captured and held, without losing his mind?  How long could he lie alone in a cell, without going insane?  It had only been a couple of days, but he knew Jonathan was prepared to draw his imprisionment out indefinitely.  Magnus was tough mentally, yet being left alone in boredom was bringing unsettling questions to the forefront of his mind.

 _Focus on your anger,_ Magnus admonished, and felt his magic pulse through his body and out his fingertips once more.  His heart sped up slightly in his chest.  He was making progress.

* * *

Evening settled in before Alec had any word from the others.  The first person who text was Clary.  Catarina hadn't noticed anything unusual about Magnus, besides the obvious anxiety he had shown about what was happening at the Institute.  He had been afraid, but his fear had been for others, not himself.  Magnus had left Catarina's in a hurry, stating he was on his way back to the Institute, and that was the last she had heard from him.  Clary had also questioned Catarina about possible enemies, but was assured that Magnus was quite well liked and respected.  She promised to think about it, and get back to Clary if she remembered anything of importance.

Both Luke and Simon had no leads, but continued to plod along, hoping to stumble across something useful.

The only new bit of information came from Izzy.  She had rifled through Magnus's appointment book, searched his medicine cabinet, even went through the trash, and found nothing out of the ordinary.  It wasn't until she investigated the spare bedroom that a lead popped up.

 

** Group Chat **

 

**From: Isabelle**

**Found a glass with lipstick on it in the spare bedroom.  There is still fluid in it, looks fairly fresh.**

 

**From: Alec**

**I have no idea who that could be.**

 

**From: Clary**

**By the angel, that was probably Dot's glass.  We found her locked up and abandoned by Valentine, and brought her to Magnus's.  Magnus started healing her. We** **left her at the loft when we portalled to the Institute.  How could that slip my mind?**

 

**From: Alec**

**Take a good look around Izzy, are you sure she's not there?**

 

**From: Isabelle**

**I've been here for hours, and this is the last room I checked.  There is no way she is in this loft.**

 

**From: Alec**

**Have another look around, and see if she left something we can use to track her.  Bring the glass just in case.**

 

**From: Luke**

**I'll start trying to trace her from my end too Alec.**

 

**From: Alec**

**Thanks Luke.  Izzy, meet me in Jace's room when you get back, we will try to track Dot ASAP.**

 

Alec felt energized by Izzy's discovery.  It was not much of a lead, but it was something to hold onto, and he grasped at it like it was a life preserver and would save him from sinking.  He took long strides to Jace's room, barely able to keep himself from running.

Jace's room was closed, and there was an unknown Shadowhunter standing next to the door.  Alec reached out to knock, but his hand was grabbed and shoved away.  "What the fuck is going on?"  The words exploded from Alec's mouth forcefully.

"Ask Aldertree.  I'm just doing my job, which is guarding the door."  The man glanced apologetically at Alec.  "No one is allowed in or out."

"For fuck's sake, this is important," Alec growled.  "You either let me in, or I will go through you."  Alec felt a little bad when the Shadowhunter flinched, but he didn't have time for niceties right now.  Not with Magnus's life on the line.

A voice from behind him caused Alec to spin around.  "Well now, what would the Clave say about Alec Lightwood threatening fellow Shadowhunters?"  It was Aldertree, wearing a smug smile and stepping into Alec's personal space.  "You thought you could threaten me, blackmail me, into doing what you wanted.  I don't care if you tell everyone that I supplied yin fen to your sister, no one will believe you."  He leaned in even closer, and whispered up into Alec's face.  "It turns out, the Clave doesn't think too highly of you, a man who would choose another man, and a Downworlder at that, over a suitable Shadowhunter marriage union.  Consensus is, you can't be trusted."

Aldertree took a step back, and rearranged his face into its usual formal expression.  "I should thank you for setting your little lapdog Jace on me today.  With everything that's been going on, his punishment for activating the Soul Sword had slipped my mind."  Aldertree shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, and continued, "Jace has been charged with high treason against the Clave, as well as aiding and abetting Valentine.  He is under arrest, until a trial date can be set."  With that, Aldertree turned on his heel and walked away.  Before he was out of range, he threw back over his shoulder, "if I catch anyone entering his room without approval, they will also be charged with treason."

Alec slouched against Jace's door, pressing his forehead hard into the wood.  Thankfully the guard didn't seem to care, because Alec was pretty sure his legs would give out if he was forced to stand.  His breath was coming out in short pants, and he was about one second away from hyperventilating.

Before he could pass out, footsteps rang out from down the hall, growing steadily closer.  Izzy rushed over to him, and grasped his hands in hers.  "What's wrong big brother?" she asked nervously.

Alec peeled himself of the door, and rested his head on top of his sister's.  Letting out a small whimper, he answered, "Jace has been arrested.  And it's all my fault."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos! I'm really glad you are enjoying the story.
> 
> I hope you liked Chapter 5.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with the tense in this chapter, I really hope it's not all over the place.

Jonathan was back. Pushing his calculating face up to the bars, mocking Magnus with his snide remarks.  Magnus was deeply fatigued, and Morgenstern's presence at the front of his cell was almost too much to bear.  He wanted to keep working on freeing his magic.  He didn't have time for his captor's insane games.

The Shadowhunter became aware that Magnus isn't listening, and cut his diatribe off with a scowl.  At the slightest glance from their boss, the two guards lumbered down to the cell.  It was a replay of the previous night; Magnus dragged to his feet, back pressed to the wall, shoulders held securely by strong hands.  When Jonathan struts in, Magnus anticipates the cold sting of a syringe, and tilts his neck.  

Thinking you can predict Morgenstern's actions is a monumental mistake.  Instead of being drugged, Magnus is slapped hard across the face.  The ferocity behind the blow caused his head to snap to the side, wrenching his neck and forcing a moan from his lips.  

"Physical abuse, how...predicable.  I didn't think you would stoop to using such unseemly means of torture."  He hoped to anger and embarrass Jonathan, knock him off balance by pointing out his lack of imagination.

The pale man just stared at Magnus, his face and eyes devoid of emotion.  "It's cute when you think you've got me all figured out, Warlock.  You have no fucking idea what I'm capable of."  With blinding Shadowhunter speed, he pulled back and punched Magnus in the mouth, splitting his lip wide open.  Another punch landed on his right eye, and then one to his nose, causing bones to crunch and more blood to trickle down his face.  "You assume I'm roughing you up just for fun.  It's all just a means to an end."  One final jab to the stomach, and Magnus is gasping for air, trying not to choke on the blood that floods his mouth and nose.

Jonathan signalled for the guards to let Magnus go, and the Warlock slid to the floor, his legs unable to support his weight independently.  "It's time to escalate game play.  You see, I've been checking your phone, and there hasn't been any communication from Alec."  There is a pause as Jonathan waits for Magnus to regroup.  He wants Magnus's full attention. "He's got his little group of misfits working on something, and he wants to keep it quiet.  The funny thing is, Aldertree seems to know what they are up to, even though he made it clear they were not running an Institute approved mission."  He was on a roll now, pacing up and down the cell in a way that made Magnus dizzy as he tried to follow the movement.  "Here's what I've surmised.  Alec has _finally_  figured out that you've been taken.  Aldertree gave him clearance to search for you, but only approved the most useless Shadowhunters at the Institute for help."

Holding out Magnus's phone, Jonathan nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders.  "I guess that means no more messages from Alec."  He put his finger to his chin, making an exaggerated pose like he was deep in thought.  "Or maybe he just needs some incentive."  Flashes of light and soft clicking noises let Magnus know his picture is being taken.  "Let's see how Alec reacts to his pet Warlock being damaged."  With that, Jonathan stalked from the cell, leaving behind his muscle men.  "You two stay.  I'll send down a Warlock to heal his face, at least enough so I can be certain he won't drown on his own blood overnight."

As his footsteps faded away, Jonathan yelled back to Magnus, "I hope you appreciate the effort it took to reunite you with this friendly face."

The Warlock sent to heal Magnus slipped into the cell almost silently.  Magnus felt the person's hesitation, until they reached down and raised Magnus's chin, cupping under his jawline.  Despite the pain in his face, he sucked a deep breath in through his mouth.

It was Dot. 

* * *

Using the glass from Magnus's loft to track Dot wasn't working.  The disappointment hit Alec hard.  Why couldn't he catch a break?  His boyfriend was missing, and the only lead turned out to be a dead end.  With Jace being charged, it was even more important to locate Dot and Magnus.  Besides Clary, they were the only ones able to give evidence that Jace hadn't deliberately touched the Soul Sword in order to activate it.  

"Maybe if a Warlock tried to track Dot?" Alec asked with a trace of hope. "Magnus always said that Warlock tracking is stronger than even parabati tracking."

Alec, Izzy, Clary and Jem were jammed into Jem's cramped room, perched on his bed and desk.  It seemed like the least likely place Aldertree and his minions would think to look.

"I text Catarina and asked about that," Clary admitted.  She gave Alec a kind half-smile, hoping it would help take the sting out of her words.  "She said that the glass didn't belong to Dot, so it wouldn't work just because she drank out of it."  Clary looked down at her feet, hands twisted in her lap, before continuing, "I went back to my old apartment today, hoping I could find something of Dot's there that we could use, but everything was destroyed in the fire.  I'm sorry Alec."

Alec nodded.  It wasn't Clary's fault.  It wasn't anyone's fault.  Alec felt totally helpless, and his usual way of dealing with it would be to become enraged and wrathful.  Clary had been on the receiving end of his ire before.  This time, he managed to keep his feelings in check. These people were practically giving up their lives to help him find Magnus, the least he could do was treat them with common courtesy. 

He decided to do even more.  He decided to fully trust them with the hopelessness he was feeling.  "That's it, then,"Alec sighed, anguish plain on his face.  "I have no more ideas."

Izzy shook her head and grabbed one of Alec's hands.  "Of course that's not it, Alec.  We won't give up.  We will find Magnus."  Her voice sounded stronger than it had for a while, more like the old Izzy he remembered.  Tough and steady.

"How Izzy?  I don't even know where to start looking.  New York is a big city, and truthfully, Magnus could be anywhere."  Alec lowered his head to his hands.  "The irony is, Magnus would know what to do.  He'd have a plan, and no matter what obstacles he ran into, he'd be able to get around them."  He took a couple of deep breaths, and said, "I'll never give up on Magnus.  I just don't know how to continue the search."

The silence that followed his statement was telling; none of them knew what to do now.  

Alec was surprised when Jem broke the oppressive hush.  "Don't forget that Luke and Simon are still looking into things.  Having the NYPD and Raphael's clan on your side is a huge advantage."  Jem closed his eyes briefly, as though collecting his thoughts.  "I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but I think all you can do is wait and hope some new information comes to light.  Keep trying to track Magnus multiple times a day, just in case.  I'll work on getting Aldertree to grant us some time with Jace, and see if he learned anything of interest from Magnus's files."  

Jem's soft and calming voice washed over Alec, helping stave off the panic for a little longer.  "I know Magnus, he's a lot tougher than people think.  He'll fight for as long as he needs to, until we figure this out."

Alec hating looking weak, but he couldn't hold back the intense wail that ripped from his chest.  "It's killing me that he might be hurt, that he might be fighting for his life."  Tears were streaming down his face, but he was crying silently now, choking back the sobs that were threatening to spill out.  Izzy rubbed his lower back in comforting circles until Alec was able to catch his breath.  "I'm sorry," he muttered, totally embarrassed.  "I should be stronger than this."

"Are you kidding me?" Izzy asked delicately.  "Alec, crying doesn't make you weak.  I know mom and dad drilled shit like that into us from an early age, but it's not true.  You are the strongest person I know.  Do you think just any person could lead a mission to recover their kidnapped love?  I couldn't. Stop selling yourself short."  Izzy's eyes were now filled with tears too.  "I'm so proud of you, Alec."

"Thanks," Alec whispered in reply, unable to say anything more articulate.

"Let's give Jem his room back," Isabelle said jokingly, as she wiped the moisture from her eyes.  "I'm going to give Raphael a call."

Clary sprung up from her seat on the desk.  "I'll come, I should touch base with Simon anyway."

Alec also moved to leave, pulling himself from Jem's bed.  Once at the door, he turned and said, "I keep repeating myself, but thank you Jem.  I'm not sure what I'd do without you."

Jem's face lit up with a dazzling smile.  As he opened his mouth to answer, Alec's phone beeped, signalling there was an incoming text message.  Suddenly Alec was all flailing limbs as he worked to wrench his phone out of his pocket.  "That's the text tone I set specifically for Magnus."  Finally the phone was in his hand.

Alec stood absolutely still for about 5 seconds, his face unreadable and eyes open wide.  Almost in slow motion, his fingers let go of the phone, and it dropped with a crash to the floor.  He dove towards Jem's desk, grabbed the garbage can sitting underneath and vomited viciously.  

Jem moved to retrieve Alec's phone from the floor.  "Can I look?" he asked.

Alec moaned and nodded.  The urge to vomit again was overwhelming.  As long as he lived, he would never be able to get those images out of his head.  Pictures of Magnus, his face so beaten he was almost unrecognizable.  Pictures of Magnus, covered in his own blood.  Pictures of Magnus, pillared by two thugs.  Pictures of Magnus, slumped in defeat in a dirty cell, battered and bruised.

Jem let out a low groan of shock when he saw the photos.  He rushed to Alec's side, and wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulders.

"I will find whoever is responsible for this," Alec declared in a ragged voice.  He cleared his throat and continued, "I will find them, and I will kill them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I saw the new promo today for 2b and I am freaking out! Who else is counting down the days until June 5? Show of hands?
> 
> Thank you so much for reading chapter 6.


	7. Chapter 7

"Dot?" Magnus asked, his voice full of anguish.  "Oh no, Dot.  What are you doing here?"

The last time Magnus had seen Dot, she was safe in his loft, on the road to recovering from Valentine's injections.  Was that really only a few days ago?  The Warlock that stood before him was in rough shape.  Evidence of experimentation was plain on her face, her veins stood out in sharp contrast to the pale parlour of her skin.  There was also signs of physical restraint and punishment around her wrists and throat.  She stared at Magnus with black eyes, and he felt a shiver run up his spine.  "My sweet Dot, what have they done to you?"

"You left me," Dot croaked.  Magnus felt his heart break just a little more.  There were so many shards cracking off, pretty soon it would be too splintered to keep him alive.  "You never came back.  I left the loft to look for you, and they captured me.  Valentine's soldiers, Jonathan's soldiers.  They were waiting for me just outside your wards, and they brought me here.  Jonathan has been experimenting on me ever since."

Magnus had so many questions, but he knew they couldn't speak freely with the guards in the room.  He grabbed Dot's hand and gave it a quick squeeze, relishing the first positive physical contact he had had in days.  Dot nodded and pulled her hand away.  She raised both arms, and placed her palms on Magnus's face.  Muttering a few words under her breath, Dot's magic flowed into Magnus's skin, and he felt wounds knit and pain ebb away.  When Dot dropped her hands, she appeared totally worn out.  She caught Magnus's questioning look, and said, "it's the injections.  They make it difficult for me to perform even simple spells.  Complex things, like healing, wear me out pretty quickly."

After that statement, Magnus was unprepared for what happened next.  With blinding speed, Dot shot a bolt of magic at each guard, and their eyes closed instantly.  "We have about 30 seconds.  Listen carefully.  I know you've been doing magic Magnus.  The binding around your wrists should prevent you from being able to, but you have always been immensely powerful and mysterious.  I'm doing my best to cloak it, but you need to be careful."  

Dot turned silent as the muscle men started to stir.  "I'm done here," she said, motioning at Magnus's face.  "You can tell your boss he'll survive, for one more night, at least."

They shuffled towards the door, leaving Magnus alone in his cell once again.  "It's linked to my anger," Magnus exclaimed, feeling the need to explain as best he could.  Dot nodded minutely to show that she had heard.

"What the fuck does that mean?" one of the guards asked.  

"I wouldn't worry about it," Dot replied condescendingly.  "If he gets too angry with the boss, he'll be shown what real rage can do."  The two guards chuckled at the thought.

Once again a curtain of soundlessness encircled Magnus.  There was nothing to do but sleep.   _I survived another day,_ he thought, and curled himself into a ball, waiting for the exhaustion he felt in his body to overtake his brain and allow him to rest.

* * *

What Alec was most thankful for at the moment was coffee.  Following a sleepless night of picturing Magnus being tortured, coffee was his best friend, and the only thing keeping him on his feet.

No further messages had come from Magnus's phone, and he didn't know if he should be happy or upset.  The cold comfort he received from the gruesome pictures was that Magnus was alive.  There was still time.

There were, however, some new messages in the group chat, and Alec scanned them eagerly, hoping for a new lead.

 

**From: Luke**

**The search for Magnus and Dot is still cold on my end.  But I do have other, possibly related news.  Two werewolves from the pack have gone missing.**

 

**From: Simon**

**Raphael's third in command has also vanished.  He's been reaching out to other clans, and they have experienced unknown disappearances too.**

 

**From: Clary**

**Wow, ok, I'm going to check with Catarina to see if any more Warlocks are missing.**

 

**From: Clary**

**Catarina says as far as she knows, there are no other Warlocks missing, although they don't have organized packs or clans like other Downworlders, so it's hard to be sure.**

 

**From: Isabelle**

**I sent Meliorn a fire message.  He replied that at least four seelies are gone.  But that's not the worst of it.**

 

Izzy's message had been sent just minutes ago.  Alec jumped into the conversation, bracing himself for more bad news.

 

**From: Alec**

**What could be worse than all these Downworlders being missing?  It seems pretty obvious that someone is carrying on with Valentine's twisted vision.**

 

**From: Isabelle**

**After what happened at the Institute, the Downworlders are blaming Shadowhunters for the disappearances.  They think we are trying to wipe them out.**

 

 _Well fuck,_ Alec thought, _I was wrong, it really could be worse._

 

**From: Alec**

**Is anyone trying to track the missing Downworlders?**

 

**From: Luke**

**Of course Alec.  So far, their location is being blocked, just like Magnus.  I think you are right.  Someone is hunting Downworlders, whether it's to experiment or just make Shadowhunters look bad.**

 

**From: Luke**

**You all need to be extra careful now.  Don't take any risks. Don't come back to the Jade Wolf.  We'll communicate by chat from now on.**

 

Alec was processsing everything he had learned when Jem joined him.  "I saw the texts.  I mean, the ones from the group, this morning.  Well, I did see those ones from last night, too.  The pictures of Magnus."  Jem shook his head and continued, "sorry, I'm rambling.  I guess I'm just scared to ask, how are you holding up?"

Alec scoffed and turned away, unable to meet Jem's eyes.  The pity and compassion he saw in them was threatening to bring Alec to tears again, and he had resolved to stay strong, for himself and for Magnus.  "About as well as could be expected, I guess.  At least we have new information.  The sheer number of people missing gives us a clue about the size of the facility where they are being held."

"We are making progress.  It may be slow, but it is still forward movement.  Don't get discouraged, Alec."  Jem gave him a warm smile.  Alec had no idea how the man was able to stay so positive.  He always seemed to say the right things, and for that, Alec was eternally greatful.  Now he had two things to be thankful for; coffee and Jem. The day was looking up.  "I spoke with Victor early this morning.  He's agreed to allow you five minutes of time with Jace.  You are not allowed to discuss the charges against him, or help him with his case in anyway.  And there will be a Shadowhunter of his choice present in the room."

"Wow, how generous," Alec said sarcastically.  "Although I'm surprised Aldertree agreed to this at all."

"I think he's curious about what you will discuss.  My feeling is that he's more interested in the search for Magnus than he is letting on."  Jem shrugged his shoulders.  "It can't be helped.  If we want to learn what Jace found out, we will have to play by Victor's rules."

Jace's room was being guarded by an extremely pale male Shadowhunter, who Alec vaguely remembered from Aldertree's introductions a few days back.  "I'm Sebastian," the young man said, sticking his hand out for Alec to shake.  "I'm sorry we are meeting under such lousy circumstances."

Alec grasped the hand and shook firmly, reminding himself it was not Sebastian's fault that Jace was imprisioned.  "Alec.  I'm here to see Jace."

"Of course," Sebastian replied.  "I am afraid that I will have to be present during your visit.  And your...friend...will have to wait outside."  Alec cocked his head and stared intensely at Sebastian.  He seemed friendly enough, but Alec thought he detected well hidden disgust in his tone.  Whatever, it wasn't the first time he had been judged by a member of the Clave, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

Jem's warm hand gripped his wrist and gave a comforting squeeze.  "I'll be waiting out here for you," he assured Alec.

There it was, flashing quickly in Sebastian's eyes as he gazed at where Jem's fingers were connected to Alec; revulsion.  Alec was sure of it.  But Sebastian's smile didn't falter on his face, and he remained unfailingly polite as he opened the door and granted Alec access to the room.

Jace was sitting on his bed, back pressed against the headboard, watching Alec as he entered.  As Alec opened his mouth to speak, Jace held up a hand and cut him off.  "Don't Alec.  I know you are going to apologize.  Just don't.  This is not your fault.  We are not wasting our five minutes on me assuring you of that."  Jace smiled at his parabati, a genuine smile that had Alec smiling back.  "Fill me in on what's new.  

Alec brought Jace up to speed as quickly as he could.  Jace then informed Alec of what he had learned, which wasn't much.  "Magnus's files aren't really a vault of useful info," Jace explained.  "We already knew most of it from Hodge, when he prepped us for our first contact with Magnus.  The Clave sees him as a self-absorbed hedonist with too much power.  One thing I did pick up on though - they fear him.  There was also new stuff in there about your relationship, and the possibility that Magnus had somehow enthralled you.  The Clave's opinion of him is really quite poor."

Alec shook his head sadly.  He was mulling over Jace's words when Sebastian spoke up.  "One more minute."

"Look Jace," Alec said in a rush.  "I know we are not allowed to talk about your charges.  But I just want you to know we are working on it.  Don't give up.  Keep fighting, and we will too."

Jace smiled at Alec with tears in his eyes.  "I won't give up buddy," he replied.  "You don't either.  Find Magnus."

Jace stood up from the bed and extended his hand to Alec.  They clasped hands more than shook, trying to relay the complex emotions they were feeling through the simple touch.  As Jace drew back, Alec felt something rough remain in his hand, and he gripped it tightly.

"Time's up," Sebastian said, sounding sincerely sorry.  Alec tripped out of the room, and was instantly engulfed in Jem's tight hug.  Alec felt himself tense up at first, but he eventually sank into it.  He was so used to looking after everyone, it felt nice to let go for a change.

The reality of the situation crept back up on Alec, and he pulled out of Jem's arms, patting him awkwardly on the shoulder.  Turning back to Sebastian, he muttered, "thanks."

"No need to thank me.  I just wish I could have been more helpful.  I'm only following orders."  Sebastian's tone seemed sympathetic, but Alec couldn't help but feel he was holding back, or hiding something.  "If you want help looking for Magnus, let me know."

Alec nodded shortly, and stalked off down the hall.  Finding a secluded corner, he stopped and unrolled Jace's note, holding it up so that Jem could read it over his shoulder.

 

**Don't trust Aldertree.**

**Don't trust the new Shadowhunters**

**Watch out for Sebastian**

 

Alec spent the remainder of the day studying his reports and making notes at the desk in his room.  He decided to keep Jace's message a secret for now, and Jem agreed.  The last thing they needed was for someone else to question Aldertree, or one of the newly appointed Clave approved Shadowhunters, and be charged with treason. 

Jem had stayed with Alec for most of the day, offering input when requested, giving Alec's paperwork a second set of eyes, and keeping Alec's coffee cup filled. After re-reading Jace's note for what felt like the hundredth time, he said, "I'm going to make friends with Sebastian."

"What?" Alec replied feebily.  He had been focused so sharply on the reports in front of him, his brain struggled to grasp what Jem was saying.

"We both thought there was more to Sebastian than met the eye.  Jace obviously saw or heard something odd too.  It only makes sense to get close to him."  Jem rose from his spot on Alec's bed, and paced in small circles around the room.  "It will look suspicious if you show a sudden interest in friendship.  But I'm new here, my advances are less likely to be questioned.  In fact, I'll make an effort to befriend all the new Shadowhunters.  Some of them seem pretty close to Victor.  I might be able to get insight on Aldertree and Sebastian."

"It's too dangerous," Alec argued.  "Jace spent one day doing what you are suggesting, and he ended up charged with treason.  Think about Jace's note; he was trying to warn us."

"That's exactly why I need to do this, Alec.  Jace warned us who to look out for, and those people need to be investigated."  

Alec was speechless.  Had he really only met Jem a few days ago?  He barely knew Jem, but he already trusted him more than most of the people he had known for a lifetime.  "I appreciate the offer, and I can't stop you, but I want you to know I am against this idea."  Alec had never been good at expressing his emotions.  But if he had learned anything recently, it was to voice your feelings while you had the chance, because there might not be a later.  "Magnus and Jace are two of the most important people in my life, and they are basically lost to me right now.  I don't want to lose you too."  Alec felt himself blushing scarlet.  "That came out really weird, sorry."

"Don't be sorry.  I understand.  I have experience with missing loved ones, so I do have some idea what you are going through."  Jem's patient voice calmed Alec's raw nerves, and he felt himself relax slightly.  "I haven't had real friends for a hundred years.  You didn't have to trust me, or include me in your group, but you did, without question."  Jem startled Alec by laughing heartily.  "My parabati Will would be outraged with me right now, trading sappy declarations with a Lightwood."

Alec smiled at Jem tentatively.  "Please be careful."

"Careful is my middle name," stated Jem, returning Alec's smile.  "Now quit chugging coffee and try to get some sleep.  Tomorrow is a new day."

* * *

There was a lot more activity in the prison today.  Shadowhunters roamed the hallway, pulling Downworlders from their cells.  They were all carried back, unconscious and looking drained of their very souls.  Most stirred after a few hours, but some remained still, and Magnus hated to think what that meant.  In the early afternoon, two new prisoners were brought in, rendering every cell full.  He felt a small wave of relief that he didn't recognize anybody.  

Magnus was totally ignored, and for that he was thankful.  He put the time to good use, calling on his magic over and over again, learning how to harness his power in spite of whatever bound his hands.  He was making headway.  Now he could get at least a small flicker of magic every time he tried, as long as he channelled his anger.  It was exhausting work, but Magnus felt a deep sense of pride and accomplishment.  No one could call Magnus Bane a quitter.

Maybe he'd get off lucky tonight, and there would be no visit from Jonathan.

That was too much to ask for.  "I heard you had a good day, Warlock," Jonathan said conversationally, materializing stealthfully at the front of the cage and startling Magnus.  "Are you getting used to your new home?"

Magnus ignored the Shadowhunter.  After about a minute of silence, Jonathan chuckled, and said, "not very talkative today?  That's ok.  I had a great day too, let me tell you all about it.  First of all, Jace Wayland was officially charged with crimes against the Clave."  Magnus's head snapped up, and Morgenstern smirked evilly at him.  "I thought that might interest you, he is one of your pet Shadowhunters, right?  Well, he's being held at the Institute in solitary confinement, until the Clave is able to schedule a trial."

Magnus gazed back at his tormentor, determined not to give anything away.  His mind was racing.  This would be a big blow to Alec.  Parabati needed each other, especially in times of stress.

It was almost like Jonathan could read his mind.  "You can guess how well Alec took the news.  I heard he had a breakdown in front of Jace's room, and had to be comforted by his little sister.  Pathetic," he sneered.

"That all happened last night.  Today, Aldertree needed someone he could trust to guard Jace's room.  Of course, I graciously volunteered.  It was my lucky day; Aldertree approved a five minute meeting between Alec and Jace.  He wanted to know how the hunt for you was going."  Jonathan threw back his head and laughed.  "I must admit, I was curious about that too.  Here's the good news.  Alec has no idea where you are, or where to look.  The Downworld has figured out that people are disappearing, and they blame the Shadowhunters.  And this prime bit of information from Jace: the Clave basically thinks you are scum, and couldn't care less if they ever heard from you again.  In fact, they wonder if you ensnared Alec with your powers."  Magnus had dealt with his fair share of bullies in the past, but none had prepared him for Jonathan's unique tactics.  He was targeting Magnus's weaknesses, confident that eventually he would break the Warlock down.

"I honestly feel a little sorry for you, Magnus," Jonathan simpered.  "I don't think anyone's coming for you anymore.  After just a few days without you, your queer little boy toy seems to have moved on."  He held up his phone directly in front of Magnus's face.  Magnus knew he shouldn't look, that it would only cause him pain, but he couldn't help it.  He stared directly at the phone, taking in a close-up photo of Alec hugging another man.  Alec had his head buried into the Shadowhunter's shoulder, and his arms were wrapped tightly around his body.  Magnus could tell it wasn't a staged photo, and that both men felt comfortable in the position.  But it was also clear that the embrace wasn't romantic in nature.  It was a hug of comfort, and Alec was on the receiving end.  His eyes drifted to the other man's face, which was more visible.  There was something very familiar about the shape of his eyes, and the soothing look he displayed.  Magnus felt sure he had met the Shadowhunter before, but just couldn't place him.

Jonathan was taking great pleasure in examining Magnus's face, watching for any sign of distress.  "I snapped the picture early this morning.  So you see, you really are quite unimportant, even to the people who claim to love you."  Magnus looked away from the phone, and up into the Shadowhunter's malicious eyes.  "You have two choices.  One, you can keep fighting, wearing yourself down a little more everyday, until you die here, friendless and alone.  No one will miss you.  Or two, you can pledge you allegiance to me.  I will provide you with opportunities to use your power in ways you could only dream of."  After a slight pause, Jonathan continued, "I can see you aren't ready to decide just yet.  Luckily, I'm in no rush, as I'm gathering valuable information at my position in the Institute."

Magnus breathed an internal sigh of relief.  He needed more time.  His magic was coming back under his control, but he was nowhere near ready to fight his way out.  Magnus could not believe he was actually wishing for an extended prison stay, but if the alternative was death, he would gladly take it.

Jonathan was getting ready to leave.  "Play time is over for tonight.  I'll leave you two things to ponder.  The first is, you will be getting a cell mate shortly.  It's someone I picked just for you."   _Oh please, not Alec,_ Magnus thought.  He needed Alec, and Alec's family and friends, to remain safe.  "The second thing is, your last meal was laced with powerful hallucinogens, that will prey on your deepest fears and cause vividly real nightmares.  They should kick in any time.  Sweet dreams Magnus.  I will see you tomorrow, if the drugs don't crack your mind and leave it shattered."  Jonathan strode away, dousing the lights as he reached the exit.  In the pitch black cell, Magnus fought to control his terror.  Once the visions hit, he would be utterly alone, and no one would even be able to hear him scream.


	8. Chapter 8

As it turned out, Jonathan was exceptionally smart. He was also sadistic, heartless, cruel, crazy, and a psychopath, but his intelligence couldn't be questioned, and Magnus sorely regretted underestimating the Shadowhunter.  In just a week as Morgenstern's prisoner, Magnus's fortitude had been severely tested.  If he didn't get out of here soon, he was sure he would lose his sanity.

The methods of torture used seemed tailor-made to peel away at Magnus's strength, layer by layer.  The induced hallucinations from a few nights ago replayed in his dreams every time he closed his eyes, no drugs required.  Now that Magnus had been forced to witness his deepest fears, they just kept playing over and over in his head.

Camille had known, and now Magnus knew she had been right.  Magnus was terrified of being lonely.  Of being unloved, unwanted, and friendless.  In his dreams he saw Alec dying, bloody and battered and bruised, in so many horrific ways.  He saw Alec kill himself. He saw Alec loving someone else.  He saw Alec mocking him, ridiculing him for ever believing a Shadowhunter could love a Warlock, especially one as scandalous and vulgar as Magnus Bane.  He saw his mother die, blaming him for her despair.  He saw his friends turn their backs on him, or get killed.  He saw people he loved, like Alec and Raphael, kill him, and not feel a moment of remorse.  Again and again and again.

Magnus had once been asked how he survived losing many loves over the course of his immortal life.  His response, 'you endure what is unbearable, and bear it.  That is all,' now seemed like a flippant reply to an honest question.  Because what if he couldn't bear it?

To an outsider, Magnus's situation probably didn't look too dire.  Of all the prisoners, he was the only one not being yanked from his cell for torture and experimentation on a daily basis.  He wasn't being physically abused, or at least not as badly as the other Downworlders.  Jonathan did enjoy roughing Magnus up a bit.  Or as the Shadowhunter liked to phrase it, "making that pretty face bleed."  He was fairly well fed, when he could actually stomach the meals that were delivered.  He had witnessed other prisoners have slices of bread thrown at them sporadically, certainly not enough to keep an adult healthy.  Jonathan was quick to point out how lucky Magnus was, how well he was being treated, and how thankful he should be.

Jonathan was not around at all during the day anymore.  He liked to brag to Magnus about how he had become invaluable to the running of the New York Institute, as he was highly trusted by Aldertree.  Magnus wasn't surprised that an ignorant buffoon like Victor Aldertree could be so easily fooled.  But it did increase his worry for Alec's wellbeing.

Night time was a special kind of hell for Magnus, and it always started with a visit from Jonathan Morgenstern.  By Magnus's count, it was his seventh night in the cell.  Seven nights of seeing Jonathan's priggish face, hearing his taunts and enduring his blows.  Five nights of terrifying and heartbreaking nightmares.  And countless more such nights ahead of him, if he could stay brave and strong.  He just needed to endure the unbearable.

"Honey, I'm home," Jonathan said with a smirk.  How did he even know about mundane culture?  From what Magnus could piece together, he was raised in secrecy and solitude by Valentine in Idris.  "What, I'm not amusing to you, Warlock?  It's so unfortunate when people can't appreciate real humour."  He stuck his bottom lip out in an over-exaggerated fake pout, and it took all of Magnus's willpower to avoid jumping up and smashing the ridiculous look right off of Morgenstern's face.  "I have news about your precious Alexander."  Magnus could tell that Jonathan was barely able to contain his glee, and steeled himself for some really bad news.  "It might even please you to hear it.  Alec and his new boyfriend have apparently parted ways. Poor Alec, he only has his addict sister to rely on now.  James wizened up, and picked the winning side.  He's **my** friend now, he's loyal to me, and Aldertree.  It will be fun to see if Alec sluts around after him like he did with you."

Magnus felt sad for Alec, but he didn't understand why telling him this was making Jonathan so excited.  Then the other shoe dropped.  "You didn't recognize James from the picture, did you?  Remember, the one of Alec in a passionate embrace?  From what I understand, his physical appearance has changed drastically since you saw him last.  My new friend is your old friend, Jem Carstairs."

Jem Carstairs?  Magnus was shocked, and he knew it showed on his face.  Jonathan was drinking in his reaction, and loving every minute of it.  The last time Magnus had seen Jem was well over a hundred years ago.  His hair had been silver then, and his build had been almost gaunt, in contrast to the athletic physique he had now.  Jem had been dying of a yin fen addiction, and chose to become a Silent Brother to prolong his life.  Of course, Magnus had seen Brother Zachariah more recently, and was unaware that Zachariah had somehow returned to being Jem Carstairs.  How was that even possible?  It was a lot for Magnus to take in.  One thing he was certain of, Jem would never befriend someone, then turn around and stab them in the back.  He was one of the most loyal people that Magnus had ever met.  So just what were Alec and Jem up to?

Magnus snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the cell opening.  Another nightly ritual.  After the first night of intense drug-induced nightmares, Magnus had been reluctant to fall asleep again.  He tried his hardest to stay awake, but Jonathan caught on to that quickly.  Now he was pinned by the goon twins every night, while Jonathan injected him with a sleeping serum.  Somehow the Shadowhunter had figured out that Magnus was reliving his worst fears every time he slept, and was keen to prolong the misery.

The sharp sting of a needle jabbed Magnus's neck, and he felt himself drifting away.  Jonathan grabbed his face in his hand and yanked it up, ensuring eye contact between them.  "I think you are finally ready for that cell mate I promised."

The last think Magnus saw before blacking out was the Shadowhunter's inhuman smile, and he knew the nightmares would be especially bad tonight.

* * *

Loneliness was not a foreign concept to Alec.  In the past he had never feared being lonely, as Magnus did; he had just become accustomed to being isolated.  Growing up, Alec had cut himself off from others, in an effort to maintain the illusion of being the Clave's perfect little soldier.  Hiding his sexuality, his very nature, was mentally draining.  The only person he let get close for years was Izzy, and then later Jace and Max.

Meeting Magnus had changed all of that.  Being pushed off the carefully laid-out path that Alec had constructed was challenging at first.  It had been a bumpy ride of misunderstandings and bruised egos and rushed, stumbling kisses.  But it had been worth it.  Would always be worth it.

Magnus had opened Alec's heart and wormed his way into the fabric of Alec's soul.  In doing so, Magnus had made Alec a more relaxed person.  He now had a group of people, outside of his siblings, that he could trust. 

Which is why, for the first time, Alec Lightwood was experiencing the crushing feeling of strangling loneliness.  He had become accustomed to these new people in his life; Luke and Simon and even Clary.  And Jem.  

Everyone Alec cared about seemed unavailable to him right now.  Jace was arrested.  Simon and Luke were avoiding the Institute, not wanting to been seen sympathizing with Shadowhunters.  Clary had joined them, needing a break from the drama and some quality time with her father figure and best friend.  Izzy was around, but Alec didn't want to push her too hard.  She still needed time to heal.  And now Jem had been avoiding Alec for the last five days.  Jem was intent on infiltrating Sebastian's circle of Shadowhunters, and being seen talking to Alec might hinder that goal.

Of course, the person Alec longed to talk to the most was Magnus.  It had been a week since he'd disappeared.  A week of worry, a week of misery and doubt.  A week since he'd seen Magnus's crinkly-eyed smile, heard his melodic voice purr his name, or felt the reassuring squeeze of his muscular arms wrapped around his body.  Basically, the longest week of his entire damn life.

There was little for Alec to do on a daily basis.  Aldertree was punishing him for his disobedience on the night of Valentine's attack by excluding him from missions.  Alec spent a great deal of time pursuing his notes and researching possible places where Magnus and a large group of Downworlders could be held without drawing suspicion.  It was tedious and taxing, and left Alec feeling unproductive.

Hearing his phone signal an incoming text message had been the highlight of a lousy day.  It was Jem, but he wasn't using the group chat, he had sent this message to Alec alone.

 

**From: Jem**

**We need to meet, somewhere private.  As soon as possible.**

 

**From: Alec**

**Let me scout a location and get back to you.**

 

**From: Jem**

**No one can see us together.**

 

**From: Alec**

**Reduced staff nighttime patrols start at midnight.  We'll meet after that.  1am?**

 

**From: Jem**

**Yes**

 

As kids, Alec, Izzy, and eventually Jace had spent way too much time exploring the Institute.  While mundane kids were toddling around parks and swinging on playgrounds, the Lightwood siblings had turned the New York Institute into their own personal play area.  Countless games of hide and seek had led to the discovery of a few forgotten and unused areas, and Alec was positive that one of them would work for meeting Jem.  He just needed to remind himself of their locations, and check them over for appropriateness first.  

Alec found the perfect spot tucked away in the basement. The thick layer of dust covering the floor was confirmation that no one had stepped foot inside in years, probably since the last time Alec himself had hidden behind the door.  He text the location to Jem, hoping his directions were easy to follow, and returned to his room to pass the time until their rendezvous.

Alec gave himself plenty of time to get to the secluded room.  He wanted to be there when Jem showed up.  He had also been curious if anyone was watching him, and wanted to have extra time to lose a tail, if he was being followed.  Jem's secrecy and urgency had made Alec paranoid.  Nothing out of the ordinary caught Alec's eye while travelling the deserted hallways, and he arrived 15 minutes early, having met no one on the way.  Jem crept in a few minutes after 1:00.  The men locked eyes, and wordlessly stepped toward each other, hugging quickly.  Jem pulled away, giving Alec a firm pat on the shoulder, and asked, "how are you holding up?"

 _Hanging by a thread, and it's unravelling more everyday,_ Alec thought.  But to Jem he just said, "I'm doing ok."

Jem gave him a tired, sympathetic smile.  "That's bullshit, and we both know it."

Alec huffed out a small chuckle.  "You sounded like Jace just then.  I'm not used to you talking like that. You are usually more formal."

"Just trying to modify my speech patterns to fit with the times."

"Ahhh, now there's the Jem I'm used to hearing."  Alec had missed this.  The banter, the familiarity that came with friendship.  "So, what's with the cloak and dagger, mysterious meeting?"

"Well, I've finally gotten the other Clave appointed Shadowhunters to trust me.  They are a bunch of homophobic dicks," Jem exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

"Really," Alec asked, deadpan.  "Even the women?"

Jem nodded solemnly.  "Especially the women.  Just because chicks don't have dicks, doesn't mean they can't act like ones."  Alec burst into unexpected laughter, and Jem winked at him.  Jem was picking up some interesting lingo from his new friends.  "I spend most of my time with them biting my tongue, trying not to say something incriminating."  He looked at Alec with a thoughtful expression.  "Only Sebastian seems suspicious.  He never acts inappropriately when I'm present.  In fact, he's offered his help in locating Magnus multiple times, even though I have tried to persuade him that you and I are no longer friends.  He seems weirdly interested in you and Magnus." 

Alec didn't know what to make of that.  "What do you mean?" he asked.

"If I didn't know better, I'd think he was interested in you romantically.  He's asked me a few questions about your relationship with Magnus.  Sebastian and I came to the Institute on the same day, so I'm not sure how he expects me to know anything about your romantic life."  Jem paused, and started nervously picking at the cuffs of his shirt.  "He was also quite prying about the two of us.  He insinuated that we acted closer than friends."  Jem kept his eyes firmly on his lap.  "I'm sorry Alec."

"It's not your fault," Alec stated vehemently.  "People assume that because I'm gay, I want to fuck every guy I see."

"Maybe," Jem whispered.  "But I think it's more than that.  Sebastian is...odd.  He acts interested and sympathetic towards you Alec, yet I'm pretty sure it is just that; an act.  He never says anything homophobic himself, yet his eyes light up when someone else utters a particularly vile slur.  His dislike of Downworlders is no secret either.  It's a topic Sebastian and Victor enjoy discussing, in vivid detail. He always has a smile on his face when he is with others, but when he thinks no one is looking, his expression looks, for lack of a better word, dangerous.  In short, Sebastian makes my skin crawl," Jem finished, a shudder running through his body.

"So you think Sebastian is involved in something illicit," Alec said slowly.  "But what does that have to do with Magnus?"

Jem nodded as if expecting the question.  "I'm not sure it has anything to do with Magnus.  But it seems like a big coincidence that Magnus went missing at the same time a bunch of new, homophobic, anti-Downworld Shadowhunters arrived at the Institute.  Plus, Jace warned us about him, by name.  None of the other new Clave Shadowhunters were singled out in his note."  Jem reached forward and gripped Alec's hand tightly in his own.  "Most suspiciously, Sebastian never sleeps in his room.  I'm almost positive that he is leaving the Institute every night.  I've actually seen him, just last night, sneaking out.  I almost followed him."

Alec's eyes grew wide, and he squeezed Jem's hand tightly.  "Thank the Angel you didn't!  What if he really is dangerous?  You could have been hurt Jem.  Don't take unnecessary risks, I'd never be able to forgive myself."

Jem smiled sweetly at Alec, and ran his thumb over Alec's knuckles.  "Oh Alec, if circumstances were different, you are exactly the kind of person I could fall for."

A stilted silence filled the room.  Jem had closed his eyes and withdrew his hand from Alec's, realizing how inappropriate his words were as soon as they left his mouth.  Stuttering, Jem said, "Oh my God, please...please forgive me.  That was...it was...wildly improper of me."  Alec sat gawking at Jem in stunned silence.  Jem finally opened his eyes to look at Alec.  "I swear, I wasn't trying to hit on you.  I just...Magnus is my friend...I would never...oh fuck!"  The unexpected swear from Jem had Alec smiling in spite of the awkward situation.  Jem gathered some courage from that, and continued.  "You just don't see yourself accurately.  I know you get down on yourself, think you are a disappointment, but you are wrong."  Jem dropped his eyes again.  "I only meant to point out how amazing you are, and it came out all wrong.  I've not had a lot of verbal conversations in the last hundred years, I guess I'm out of practice.  Seriously, don't worry, I'm not trying to woo you.  I am actually in love with someone."

Alec was no stranger to saying the wrong thing.  His bluntness and ability to stick his foot in his mouth were legendary, according to Jace.  And even though Alec was in love with Magnus, what Jem had said was true.  If circumstances were different, if Alec didn't have Magnus, he would definitely be interested in someone like Jem.  "Look Jem, I think I get where you are coming from.  It's ok."

Tension bled out of Jem's shoulders.  "Thank you Alec," he said sincerely.  "Thank you for understanding."  

They sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to determine how much damage had been done to their friendship.  Alec was pleased to feel the same warmth towards Jem that he always did.  

Alec cleared his throat, and Jem shook his head sharply, dragging himself from his thoughts.  "You mentioned Sebastian leaving the Institute?" Alec reminded gently.  "Where do you think he goes?"

Jem looked relieved that the conversation was getting back on track.  "I don't know, he certainly never mentioned anything when I was around.  And you are right, following him is too dangerous.  I have another idea."  Jem's face took on a look of determination.  "I have a friend.  She's quite powerful.  I think we should ask for her help tracking Sebastian."

Alec wasn't sure.  "I'll be honest, I'm worried about bringing another person into this investigation.  I know she's your friend, but can we trust her?"

Jem bit his lip and nodded.  "Remember the Downworlder I told you about, the one I loved? She's a Warlock, and she's still alive.  She's actually who I'm in love with.  Still in love with.  Forever in love with Tessa Gray."

The gears in Alec's mind were turning.  "Tessa Gray?  I've heard that name.  She's friends with Magnus, right?"

"Yes, Tessa and Magnus and I all met the first time I was Jem Carstairs.  Her and Magnus have remained fairly close ever since."

"Ok," Alec said, and looked hopefully at Jem.  "Let's do this.  Let's ask Tessa for help."

"I'll send a fire message to the Spiral Labyrinth straight away."  Jem pulled something out of his pocket, and handed to Alec, seeming acutely embarrassed.  "I have it written already, hoping you would agree.  Please ensure you are content with what it says before I send it."

Alec scanned the note quickly, and seeing nothing wrong with what Jem had written, handed it back to his friend.  "Looks good," Alec said, indicating with a wave of his hand that Jem should send the message.  As it burnt out in mid air, Alec asked, "why did you sign yourself as Brother Zachariah?"

Jem looked equal parts distressed and ashamed.  "I haven't told Tessa that I'm not a Silent Brother anymore," he admitted, hanging his head.  "What if she doesn't love me the way I love her?"

Alec had no answer for that.  He had spent years of his life loving someone, his own parabati, who would never love him back the same way.  It was an awful feeling, and he wouldn't wish it on anyone.

A bright flare lit up the room, and Jem jumped up, grabbing Tessa's fire message reply from the air.  "She wants to help. She will meet you at Taki's at noon tomorrow."  Jem reached into his pocket, and pulled out a napkin.  He handed the bundle to Alec.  "Those are Sebastian's hairs.  Tessa can use that to track him."

Alec swallowed down a lump that was forming in his throat.  "Are you sure you don't want to go yourself?" he asked tenderly.

"I'm not ready to see her," Jem replied.  "But I am ready for bed; I'm exhausted, and you must be too."  

Alec should have felt tired, but instead he was energized.  The possibility of getting closer to finding Magnus was making the blood hum in his veins.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains rape/non-con elements.
> 
> Mentions of past rape/non-con of an underage girl.

Magnus awoke with a start, heart hammering erratically in his chest and tears streaming down his cheeks.  He had been reliving his least favourite nightmare: the one where Alec is fatally wounded.  Magnus knew that even his magic couldn't fix this, but he had to try.  He would drain every bit of the energy from his body in an attempt to save Alec.  But Alec won't let him, because Alec hated him.  The Shadowhunter is slouched on the ground, his wounds gushing blood, yet he is still able to spew toxic words at Magnus that rip his heart to shreds.

A guttural moan escaped Magnus, and he buried his head in his hands.  How much longer could he survive these hellish dreams?  

A small squeaking noise jarred him out of his thoughts.   _Great, now I have to deal with rats?_  Magnus thought.  He warily opened his eyes, searching for the source of the sound.  "Oh," he whispered in surprise.  There was a person, a little girl, in the back corner of his cell.

Magnus held himself as still as possible, not wanting to startle the girl.  He realized his first impression wasn't quite accurate.  His new cellmate was not as young as he had thought.  She had looked small because she was all wrapped up on herself, knees pulled to her chest and gangly arms encircling her legs.  Her frame was quite slim, making her appear juvenile, but Magnus recognized what the real cause was; chronic malnourishment.  This girl had suffered, perhaps for years.  Where had Jonathan found her?

"Are my two favourite prisoners awake?" Jonathan's voice rang through the cell.  Magnus closed his eyes again.  Jonathan never came by in the morning.  Nothing good could come from this.  "Have you become reacquainted yet?"

Magnus took a deep breath, and looked back over to the girl.  He had no recollection of meeting her.  Magnus could tell she was not a Downworlder, so she had to be a mundane.  That meant she was mortal, so he couldn't have met her in the long-distant past and forgotten.  Maybe Jonathan had finally made a mistake.  

"You don't remember her, do you Warlock?" Jonathan asked gleefully.  "Oh, how completely delicious.  She can hardly stop talking about you."  The girl sunk her head into her knees, avoiding eye contact with Magnus.  "Well, I better go.  I don't want to delay your day of nostalgia any longer, and I need to get to the Institute so I can watch Alec fall apart a little more.  See you tonight," he said jauntily, directing a cheerful little wave towards the cell.

Magnus has already turned his attention away from Jonathan, and toward his cell mate.  "Hi, sweetie.  I'm Magnus, I'm sorry I don't remember your name."  The girl remained tense for another minute, before straightening her legs and bringing her head up to look at Magnus.  "Have we really met before?"

The girl nodded her head.  "Yah, but it was years ago, so don't worry about not remembering.  I'm Becca."

"Hello Becca," Magnus said, trying his best to smile encouragingly.  He reached out his bound hands, and beckoned the girl over.  "Come sit next to me, let's get acquainted.  

Becca was up like a shot, and raced to Magnus's side, burying her head in his bicep and bursting into tears.  Having his hands bound made things difficult, but Magnus managed to gracelessly wrap his arms around the girl, and pulled her into a hug.  Becca's face ended up pressed into his armpit, and Magnus couldn't help but wonder how foul he smelled after spending a week in the same clothes.

"There there," Magnus whispered into the girl's hair.  He continued to make comforting noises until Becca's sobs stopped, and she gazed up at Magnus with adoring eyes.  Her tear-streaked face was suddenly achingly familiar, and Magnus felt his stomach clench and bile rise up in his throat.

"Becca?  Do people ever call you Becky?"  Magnus asked.

"Yah," Becca admitted, looking scared.  "My mom used to call me that, when I was younger."

"I remember you," Magnus breathed.  "Your mother ran a brothel.  I was there to help a friend, I offered to pay her debt to free her from that place."  The memory was returning to Magnus hard and fast.  It didn't have a good ending.  "Your mother seemed quite intrigued with the contents of my wallet.  She screamed for you, and you came out of the back room, huge eyes and scrawny limbs.  But you were a beauty, even as a child.  And your mother knew it, because she offered me...." Magnus trailed off, not knowing how to complete his sentence.

"She tried to sell you my virginity," Becca finished, matter of factly.  Magnus flinched at her flippant tone of voice.  Like it was an everyday occurrence that a mother would prostitute out their young daughter.  "But you refused.  Then you tried to buy me from her, and she refused."

"No matter what I offered her, she just laughed," Magnus said sadly.  "I wanted to get you out of there so badly.  I reported you to the Clave, but they were unable or unwilling to help, because your mother is a mundane.  I went to my detective friend Luke.  He assured me he'd handle it."  Magnus swallowed around the huge lump that had grown in his throat.  He was ashamed to admit that once he dumped the problem into Luke's hands, he had gradually forgotten about Becca.  And now he needed to ask a question that he was terrified of getting the answer to.  "What happened?  Did you ever get away?"

Becca was silent for quite a while, before she turned her face back into Magnus's arm and replied, "no.  I never got away."  Magnus hung his head in defeat.  He could have helped this girl, years ago.  Instead he had passed her off to someone else, and discarded her from his thoughts.  "I lived in that brothel my whole life, until that albino-looking guy showed up and bought me.  I'm sure he got a much better deal than what you were offering six years ago.  Now that I'm too old to pass off as a virgin, I'm not a cash cow anymore.  Mother had no more use for me."

How some people treated their children filled Magnus with fury and despair.  Warlocks couldn't have children of their own.  Magnus had many friends who would give anything, their immortality included, to raise a family.  

Magnus blinked back tears.  "I'm sorry," he said, voice cracking.  He scooped Becca up and dropped her in his lap, rocking her back and forth.

"I always knew I'd see you again," Becca muttered.  She spoke so softly, Magnus had to strain to hear her.  "I dreamt about you, when I was just a little girl.  'Magnus Bane will save you', the guy in my dream told me, over and over again.  Then that day in the brothel, you ruffled my hair, and 'Magnus Bane' flew into my head.  I was so sure you would rescue me that day."

"Oh my god," Magnus whispered, unable to control his reaction.  What had this poor girl gone through in the six years since he had seen her, the six years she was waiting for him to save her?  "Do you have the Sight?"  It was the only explanation Magnus could come up with for what Becca was saying.

"Yah, I do," Becca nodded.  "That's why your friend Luke never found anything when he came.  Mother forced me to warn her when the police were due." Becca leaned back on Magnus's chest, resting her head in his shoulder.  "You're here now.  My dream will come true, you will save me.  You'll get us both out of here."

Terror clawed its way up Magnus's chest.  Ever since the nightmares had started, his magic had gone dormant again.  How was he going to save this girl?  He was going to let her down spectacularly for the second time.

"I can feel what you are thinking.  You won't let me down, Magnus.  I believe in you.  Loving you these past six years has been the only thing keeping me going."  Becca spoke with the total candor of a young child, and it hit Magnus like a punch in the gut.

"Becca, sweetie, how old are you?"

The girl's breathing was was slowing down, and Magnus could tell she was fighting her fatigue.  "I'm not sure.  Mother never celebrated my birthday, I don't even know the day I was born.  I think I'm fifteen?"  She phrased it as a question, like maybe Magnus would know the answer.  

Fifteen.  She looked about fifteen.  But that would mean she had been nine when her mother was attempting to pimp her out to Magnus.  And who knew if that was the first time such a transaction had been attempted.  Magnus would have vomited if he didn't have Becca sitting in his lap.  "If you like, I could try to determine your age," Magnus offered gently.  "My magic hasn't been working very well, but this is simple information touch transference. I think with your Sight and my latent power, it will work."  He held out his bound hands to Becca, who enveloped them in her own.  Magnus was flooded with the details of Becca's life, and he concentrated hard on the answer he was looking for.  "Your birthday was last month, on the 11th.  Becca, you are actually-"

"Eighteen," Becca interrupted Magnus.  "Yes, I can see that.  I'm eighteen."  Sobs wracked her body, and Magnus started rocking her once more.  "How can I be eighteen already?"  Magnus held her tight until she fell asleep against his chest, utterly exhausted.

Magnus was exhausted too, drained both physically and emotionally.  Jonathan was too good at this.  Too good at beating Magnus down, sucking all his hope, breaking his heart.  He was going to win.  That little fucker was going to win, he was going to have Magnus begging for mercy soon, it was only a matter of time. 

* * *

Alec's meeting with Tessa Gray had been...well, awkward was really the only way to describe it.  She had been so kind to Alec, and very eager to help find Magnus.  But she wanted to know more about Brother Zachariah, and Alec had been unequipped to deal with her questions.  He felt awful, accepting her help, taking from her, without being able to offer much of anything in return.  But it was not his story to tell; Jem would have to deal with it eventually, when he was ready. 

It turned out that Tessa knew Magnus quite well, and had even lived with him, as friends, for periods of years at several points in time.  Alec liked her immediately, which was unusual for him.  First Jem, now Tessa.  His circle of friends was certainly growing.

Tessa possessed a sharp intellect.  Alec had brought his notes about Magnus's disappearance to the meeting, too wary to leave them at the Institute.  Tessa looked them over with a keen eye, getting caught up with the whole situation quickly.

The plan had been made. Tessa would watch for Sebastian to leave the Institute that evening, and try to simultaneously follow and track him.  They would meet back at Taki's at the same time the following day.  She assured Alec she would be safe.  Alec fervently hoped so: if Tessa got hurt, Alec would never be able to look Jem in the eyes again.

As they were parting ways outside the restaurant, Tessa grabbed Alec's arm to stop him from walking away.  "If you see Jem...Brother Zachariah...could you...please just say that I...I would love to see him?"

Alec worked hard to keep a neutral expression. "Of course Tessa."  Tessa released his arm and walked away, leaving Alec staring after her long after she disappeared from sight.  Love, it wasn't easy.  He hoped that Jem and Tessa could figure things out.

 

Time was Alec's mortal enemy right now.  He couldn't sleep, knowing that Tessa was going after Sebastian, so he was pacing his room, wasting energy he didn't really have.  While he had been out, Aldertree called a conference, almost certainly timing it to coincide with Alec being unable to attend.  Now Aldertree was blatantly fucking with his family and friends.  Jace was being sent to Idris, his trial set for 10 days from now.  Izzy was ordered to accompany him, at the request of the elder Lightwoods.  They were gone before Alec got back from meeting with Tessa.  Clary had been ordered back to the Institute.  If she didn't return by noon tomorrow, she would be considered a traitor and charged, just like Jace.  For the first time ever, Alec wished to see a head of brilliant red hair in the Institute halls.  He wanted to contact her on the chat, but he feared it was too dangerous, and the silence from the others lead him to believe they had reached the same conclusion.

A faint tapping sound came from Alec's door.  Cracking it open, he was met with warm brown eyes and a streak of silver hair.  Jem hurriedly pushed into the room, and shut the door.  "You met with Tessa?" he gasped.  

"Yes, she was a big help.  I'm meeting her again tomorrow, same time, same place."  Alec cocked his head and placed a hand on Jem's shoulder.  "You should come.  She really wants to see you."

Jem turned away, letting Alec's hand fall from his shoulder.  "I can't," was all he said.  The two men stood in silence for a beat, before Jem faced Alec again. "I know we agreed meeting in our rooms was risky.  But I heard about Jace's trial, and Izzy leaving with him for Idris.  What can I do to help?"

"Nothing," Alec replied, and watched Jem's face fall.  "No, I...I only meant that you are already doing so much."

Jem nodded and sighed.  "It doesn't feel like enough, when Magnus is still missing."

"Just being my friend during such an awful time would be more than enough," Alec said.  "But you are also spying on the Clave, setting up meetings with your friends, looking over my notes, the list goes on and on.  Trust me, you are doing more than enough.  And I appreciate it, more than I could ever say."

The Shadowhunters smiled at each other.  In the midst of a terrible tragedy, a real friendship had been formed.  "If I can do anything else, just let me know.  I'm serious Alec."

The cell phone on Alec's desk began to vibrate.  "I turned the ringer off," he explained.  His face turned pale when he saw the notification on the screen.  A text message from Magnus. With trembling hands, he opened the message.  It was a photo, taken in very low light.  Alec studied it hard, until he could be sure of what he was seeing.  Magnus had his back leaning against a stone wall, but his head was tipped forward, resting on the shoulder of a person who was sitting firmly in his lap.  She was leaning back on Magnus's chest, her face tilted to the side so that her cheek was touching the top of Magnus's head.  They were both asleep, or at least had their eyes closed, and both had tear tracks on their faces.  Magnus had his arms around the girl, and his hands were bound at the wrist.  Alec scanned for physical damage, but could see none on either Magnus or the girl.  She appereared young, just a pre-teen or a small teenager, and Alec wondered how she had ended up in that cell with Magnus.

Alec wordlessly passed the phone to Jem, and fell onto his bed with a thump.  Magnus was still alive.  That was the good news.  But his captor obviously sent Alec that picture for a reason.  What were they hoping to gain?  To show Magnus's misery?  Or were they hinting at something else, something more sinister?  Alec curled himself into the fetal position, desperately wishing he could turn off his brain.

Jem knew exactly what Alec was thinking.  He slid in the bed behind Alec, resting his back against the headboard and guiding Alec's head onto his lap.  "You need a distraction," Jem murmured gently.  "Would now be a good time to tell you about the Lightwoods I knew?"  Alec didn't trust himself to speak, and just nodded into Jem's lap.  "Ok.  I'll start with a bit of my backstory, and move on from there.  The whole tale is quite long, I hope I don't bore you."  Jem was winding Alec's hair around his fingers as he spoke, and Alec found himself relaxing slightly.  "Back when I was young, I had a parabati who meant the world to me, just like you and Jace.  His name was Will.  Jace actually reminds me a lot of him, as far as personality goes.  Anyways, I loved Will, in a way that was inappropriate to love your parabati, let alone another man."  Alec let Jem's words wash over him.  It was quite the exciting saga.  Especially the part about Demon Pox and his ancestor, Benedict Lightwood.  Alec would definitely ask his father about that in the near future.  As Jem continued to tell his story, Alec felt himself being lulled by the melodic sound of Jem's voice.  Having his head resting on Jem's lap reminded him painfully of doing the same thing with Magnus, and he fell asleep with the image of Magnus's smiling face flitting through his dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone worried about Magnus suffering so much at the hands of Jonathan/Sebastian, fear not! I know this was a bad chapter for him, but Things are gonna move along to the end pretty quickly now.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, and sharing your thoughts with me!


	10. Chapter 10

"Magnus!  Magnus, wake up!"  Magnus hummed and smiled, even though he wasn't ready to get out of bed.  Hearing his sweet Alexander's voice, feeling Alec's body pressed up against his, made the early awakening all worthwhile.  "Come on Magnus, hurry up.  Damn it!"  Wait, Alexander wouldn't talk to him like that.  In fact, the voice didn't sound like his boyfriend at all.  And why was he so uncomfortable?

Magnus's eyes popped open, ruining his delightful fantasy.  There was no comfy bed, and no Alexander to cuddle.  Just a cold stone cell, an aching body, and a young woman who expected him to perform miracles.  Fuck, what a let down.  Magnus tried to look on the bright side; for the first time since being given the hallucinogens, he hadn't had any disturbing nightmares.  

"Magnus Bane, look at me," hissed a voice from the door of his cell.  Becca was still fast asleep in his lap, so he turned gingerly, doing his best not to disturb her.

Magnus blinked his eyes rapidly, and the fuzzy silhouette came into focus.  "Oh Dot, I am so glad to see you.  When you never returned after your first visit, I feared the worst."  He scanned the other cells in the hallway, and Dot turned to look as well.  Over half the prisoners were gone.  "So many of them just don't come back, Dot."

"That's why I'm here, we need to talk, and we need to do it quickly.  Can you come to the door, so we can talk quietly?  If anyone catches me down here..." Dot didn't need to finish that thought, Magnus knew exactly what Jonathan would do.  He refused to have that on his conscience.  Tenderly, he shifted Becca forward and unwrapped his arms from her body, placing her as gently as he could on the worn blanket.  She sniffled a bit in her sleep, but settled down almost immediately.

Magnus hauled his aching body toward the barred door.  He could see the panic in Dot's eyes, and reached out to grab one of her hands with his bound ones.  The affectionate contact seemed to soothe her slightly.  "Magnus, you've lost a whole day - you and the girl have been asleep for almost 24 hours!"  Time didn't really mean much to Magnus, locked up as he was.  But it didn't really surprise him.  He had been sleep deprived and denied human contact for days.  Magnus had always craved intimacy and physical closeness.   When it was finally given to him, his body had responded, immersing itself in the warmth of another person, catching up on the hours of sleep he had lost.

Dot was getting agitated again.  "Jonathan's almost ready to carry out his plan.  Everything has fallen into place much more quickly than he had thought, so he will be ready to mobilize in a few days."  Dot stared at Magnus beseechingly.  "You realize what that means, right?  If he can't break you soon, he will kill you.  You are running out of time, Magnus."

Magnus gave Dot a small smile.  "My dearest Dot, I never thought this would end any other way.  I refuse to bend to Jonathan's will.  The only other outcome was my death."

Dot groaned.  "That's not true Magnus.  You were working so hard on freeing your magic, I know you were trying to plot an escape.  Why have you accepted death now?"

Magnus shrugged his shoulders and tried to look nonchalant.  It was clear from the expression on Dot's face that he wasn't fooling anybody.  "My magic's gone dormant again.  The wretched nightmares have left me so rattled.  Focusing my anger isn't working anymore."

"Not to sound condescending, but if being angry is no longer the answer, than try something else.  Problem solve.  Trouble shoot.  Your nephilim friends are good at that, channel your inner Alec.  Don't give up Magnus."

Giving up was the last thing Magnus wanted to do, but it was just so taxing, getting his hopes up repeatedly only to have them pulverized by Morgenstern every single time.  "I know it's hard.  I'm ready to give up too.  But you are the strongest person I have ever met.  Please, fight."  Dot was openly crying now.  "If all else fails, go out fighting."  They clutched at each other through the bars, tears of friendship freely flowing.  "I'm sorry I couldn't help you more, Magnus," Dot said, and walked away.  Magnus fell to his knees, wondering if this was the last time he'd ever see Dot.

Go out fighting, Magnus liked the sound of that.  He had a lot to fight for.  Like poor Becca, who had placed all her faith in Magnus.  Old friends like Raphael and Luke and Catarina and Jem.  New friends like Clary and Isabelle and Simon and Madzie.  And Alec.  Alexander and their budding, shiny, magical relationship.

Their relationship really was magical, and that gave Magnus a wonderful idea.  He could almost feel the sparks of magic fizzing at his fingertip just thinking about it.

* * *

_The world is ending_ , Alec thought, when he was startled awake by incessant banging at his door.  His alarm read 11:14, meaning that for the first time in recent history, he had managed to get a solid eight hours of sleep.  It also meant that if he didn't get his ass in gear, he would be late for his meeting with Tessa.

Alec stretched his arms, poised to pull himself off the bed, when his hand hit another body. Shit, it was Jem.  Alec feel asleep on his lap last night, and from the looks of things, Jem didn't have the heart to risk waking Alec up by moving him.  The position Jem's body was in looked extremely uncomfortable; his back was still leaning on the headboard, and his head was flopped forward on his chest.  However, Jem's eyes were still closed, and he was puffing out barely audible snoring noises, so his sleep couldn't have been affected too badly.   Alec felt an intense rush of affection for his friend, before giving into the panic of the current circumstances.  Whoever was at his door would surely misread the situation of Jem in his room, wearing the same clothes from yesterday.  

With a weary sigh, Alec wrenched the door open, ready to accept his fate. A tiny body with fiery red hair slipped in and kicked the door shut.  "Clary!" Alec exclaimed enthusiastically, enveloping her in a bracing hug.  He let go quickly, and when their eyes met, both Clary and Alec had embarrassed yet amused expressions playing on their faces.

"That's new," Clary drawled, and Alec's smile widened just a little.  He never would have predicted being happy to see Clary Fray.

Clary's joking manner fell away, replaced with an all-business attitude.  "The Clave Shadowhunters are looking for Jem. And since no one has seen you or him yet today, they are assuming you are together, and are coming here shortly."  Clary looked at Alec with frightened eyes.  "I only got back to the Institute at 8:00 this morning, and I'm already scared.  Alec, Aldertree's talking about having you deruned.  He's blaming your inability to bring Magnus to the Institute, insinuating that Magnus is not missing, and that you are a traitor for hiding him.  Anyone with half a brain can see it's a pretty flimsy excuse.  He's really targeting you because you are gay, I'm sure of it.  Sebastian is cooking up some sort of plan with Aldertree.  He says he has evidence against you and Jem, that you've been conducting some sort of illicit affair?"  Clary phrased the last sentence as a question, maintaining eye contact with Alec.  "Alec, I know you wouldn't do that to Magnus.  So what does Sebastian mean, what kind of evidence does he have?  Whatever it is, he thinks it's enough to get Jem deruned too."

Alec ran his hands through his hair and sighed.  "We better wake up Jem before we continue this conversation."

"I'm awake," Jem said quietly, clearing his throat.  "I heard everything that Clary said."

Alec dropped down on the end of the bed and said urgently, "you should go Jem, before Aldertree gets here.  I don't want to be responsible for you losing your runes."

Jem peeled himself from the headboard and sat next to Alec, wrapping both arms around his torso.  "There are far worse things than being deruned," Jem murmured, "like betraying a friend.  I've already experienced life as something other than a Shadowhunter.  If they want to strip my runes for helping you, and Magnus, it's a price I am more than willing to pay. "

Clary let out a startled cry as Alec's door crashed open behind her.  Standing framed in the doorway was Sebastian, a smug smirk on his face.  Alec knew the situation looked bad - himself and Jem, perched on Alec's bed, locked in an embrace.  Disgust marred Sebastian's features as he raked his eyes up and down over them.  Clary attempted to draw attention away by asking, "where's Victor?" in a surprisingly steady voice.

Quick as a flash, Sebastian grabbed his phone and clicked at the screen.  Had he just taken a photo?  He turned to Clary and sneered, "he's on his way.  And won't he be happy to know he was right about these two fruits?"  Sebastian turned back to the men on the bed, who had separated, and continued, "I knew coming here that Alec was an abomination, but I had hopes for you, James Carstairs."

"I'm sorry to have let you down," Jem replied in his formal way.  Alec almost laughed out loud.

Sebastian now focused his attention on the other person in the room.  "Clary," he hissed between his teeth, "I'm shocked and disappointed that you would associate with this filth."

Clary looked totally taken aback.  "You don't know me at all, why do you care?" she asked, confusion evident in her voice.

"You'll see soon enough," Sebastian replied, the smug smirk returning to his lips.  "We will be getting to know each other very well."

"Don't count on it," Clary muttered, and rolled her eyes in Alec's direction.

"Well, if we are done here, I have somewhere I need to be," Alec announced, jumping to his feet.  "Jem and Clary, if you could stay here with Sebastian until Aldertree arrives, I would appreciate it.  I trust you to deal with what is happening, and fill me in later."  At that Alec fled the room, leaving Sebastian's protests fading in his ears as he ran out of the Institute.

 

Alec was late for his meeting with Tessa, but thankfully she was still at Taki's when he arrived, her hands wrapped around a mug of coffee and staring into space.  He flopped down gracelessly in the seat across from her, and panted a little to catch his breath.

"I was worried you weren't coming," Tessa said, gazing at Alec with a concerned expression.

"I almost didn't make it," Alec admitted.  "Don't worry about me, I'm curious what you discovered about Sebastian."

Tessa had followed Sebastian when he left the Institute, using her unique abilities to hide herself in plain sight.  She had also started tracking him, and almost instantly Sebastian had tensed up.  "He felt it, he felt me tracking him, even with my magic."  He had called someone, and minutes later a portal opened up, which Sebastian jumped through hastily.  "His location popped up again quickly before being totally blocked.  All I could see was that he was in an area with a lot of warehouses, and it was on the water.  I'm sorry I wasn't able to do more, Alec."

It wasn't much, but it was something, and maybe Luke would be able to use the information.  He promptly phoned the police station, giving Luke the update as quickly as possible.

With that call made, he turned to Tessa and smiled sadly.  "You were a big help.  You confirmed our fears that Sebastian is not who he seems. I just wish I could be sure he is connected to Magnus's disappearance."

Tessa rested her chin on her hands and frowned.  Little wrinkles cropped up between her eyes, indicating she was deep in thought.  "Yesterday, you said you had received messages from Magnus's phone," she said slowly.  "Maybe Magnus's kidnapper carries the phone with him.  Try texting it when Sebastian is around, and see what happens.  In fact, make sure the other Clave Shadowhunters and Victor Aldertree are present too."

Alec nodded, not very hopeful that Magnus's captor would be stupid enough to have the phone on, but willing to give it a shot.  "I better go, I left my friends in some trouble back at the Institute."  Alec reached forward and gripped Tessa's hands in his own.  "Thank you Tessa.  We will keep in tough."

Tessa turned her head away from Alec's gaze, a small tear escaping and landing on the table.  "Before you go, did you talk to Jem?  Brother Zachariah I mean.  Will he meet me?"

Alec felt wretched.  "I did tell him.  He wants to see you too, he's just...he can't..." he trailed off pathetically. 

"Ok," Tessa said in a small voice.  "Please keep me informed.  There is no cell service in the Spiral Labrynth, but a fire message will always find its way to me."

 

Back at the Institute, luck was with Alec.  Aldertree had every Shadowhunter assigned to New York gathered in the main room, awaiting Alec's return.

"Welcome back Alec.  Out plotting our downfall with your Warlock boyfriend?" Aldertree questioned fiercely. Alec heard muffled laughter from around the room, and figured he didn't have many sympathetic allies left in the crowd.  He searched for Clary and Jem, and found them huddled together towards the back, seemingly unscathed.  "Everyone here has been alerted to your status as a potential traitor.  I am awaiting official approval from the Clave to arrest you and Jem Carstairs for gross indecency, negligence, and crimes against the Clave. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts."  He sent Alec a hateful sneer.  "Everyone is dismissed."

Alec would never have a better opportunity to try and send the text to Magnus's phone.  He quickly typed 'Remember the sex step?', hoping that if someone like Aldertree or Sebastian had the phone, that message would cause a visible reaction.

Alec sent the message and held his breath, listening intently for the tone Magnus had set on his phone for Alec.  He didn't hear anything, but Sebastian had stopped to pull something out of his pocket.  It was a phone!  It didn't have Magnus's glittery case, but it looked to be the same model as Magnus's.  And when Sebastian's lips wrinkled in revulsion for a split second before he schooled his features, Alec was sure.  Sebastian had Magnus.

* * *

Jonathan was in a foul mood when he stepped up to Magnus's cell that evening.  "How are you and the little slut getting along?  I know you swing both ways, Warlock, so I'm guessing a little underage pussy would be a dream come true for a fucking pervert like you."

Becca yelped and ducked behind Magnus, trying to hide from Jonathan's evil stare.

"Fuck you, Morgenstern," Magnus spat.  He had never met such a vile creature.

"No thanks, I'd rather fuck my hand for the rest of my life," jeered Jonathan. "I'm surprised you have any energy left for that, after being locked up with the whore for so long.  Especially this whore, who seems to have bad enough taste to actually be in love with you."

That was the second time it had been mentioned that Becca was in love with Magnus.  But it was impossible, they barely knew each other.  Behind him, Becca let out a small whimper, and Magnus reached a hand back to grip her wrist tightly, hoping to keep her calm.  

Jonathan took it all in.  "Our time is coming to an end.  Someone is suspicious of me.  Last night, I felt someone try to track me.  But I'm not worried.  My plan is in place, and I'll be ready to implement it all in two days time."

"Then I guess you'll have to kill me," Magnus replied flippantly.  There is no way you will break me in the next two days."

Jonathan smiled and widened his eyes.  "Oh, really?  I think you are wrong.  I figured out something about you, Magnus Bane.  I thought I would have to destroy everyone you love to break you.  But that's not necessary.  I just have to make it so that they don't love you.  And guess what?  That is already happening.  Aldertree alerted the Downworlders that you've been working with Alec and other nephilim.  The Downworld will consider you a traitor, and the Clave already does, so all your Shadowhunter friends will cut you out of their lives."  Jonathan cocked his head and broadened his smile, making his face look truly terrifying.  "And Alec?  I didn't even have to do anything there.  He's already moved on.  I thought he and Jem had parted ways, but it must have been a lover's tiff.  They were caught in bed together, this morning."

"I don't believe you," Magnus choked out, shaking his head violently.

"You want proof?  Here you go," Jonathan said, holding up a phone for Magnus to see.  On the screen was a photo of Alec and Jem on Alec's bed, once again locked in an embrace.

"They both have their clothes on," Magnus scoffed.  He was trying to play it cool, but couldn't help but feel a twinge of heartbreak.

"That's true," Jonathan admitted.  "The exact same clothes they had on the day before.  I have photographic evidence of that too, should you wish to see it."

Magnus waved the offer away.  He wanted to believe in Alec.  But he had been hurt so many times in the past.  Doubts plagued his thoughts, causing Magnus to second guess himself and Alec's love.

"You sleep on it," Jonathan said condescendingly.  "I'll talk to you tomorrow morning, and see where your loyalties lie.  Have a pleasant night."  Morgenstern chuckled as he walked away.  The sound cut straight to Magnus's already battered heart.  

After Dot's visit, Magnus had finally figured out how to use his magic while being bound.  It wasn't tied to his anger, as he originally thought.  It was tied to his emotions.  Any intense emotion could bring his magic to the surface.  And the most intense emotion of all was love.  Magnus's love for Alec had made his veins sing, and the magic had practically poured from his fingertips.  He had been confident that with a little more practice, he'd be able to free himself and Becca.

But if Alexander didn't love him, if he had already moved on to someone new, someone better and more suitable, would his plan still work?  Would he be able to draw on his love for Alec, when he feared it wasn't returned?  Feeling crushed, Magnus slid down the wall and closed his eyes.  A few minutes later he felt Becca slide into his lap, and automatically hugged her into his chest.  Everything he had wanted to fight for earlier this morning had been ripped from him. His friends, his Alexander, everyone had turned against him or moved on already.  Maybe it was time to give up the fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is getting close to the end! Thanks for reading!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mention of underage rape/non-con in this chapter.

Magnus did not get any sleep that night.  Unsurprising, after blacking out for almost a full day.  Or maybe it was his doubts that kept him awake.  The memories of past loves came back to haunt him, taunting that he was never good enough, that he was a waste of time.  Spending a lifetime with him would be torture, that no one had ever wanted to marry him, and no one ever would.  Why did he listen to Ragnor and let those walls around his heart crumble?  Wouldn't it be better to be closed off, rather than a wrecked ball of vulnerability and uncertainty and raw emotion?

"You are worth it, Magnus," Becca murmured into his shirt.  "I can see into your heart, and it is so beautiful and true."  Magnus had never spent so much time around someone with the Sight before, and had certainly never maintained prolonged physical contact, so Becca having access to his thoughts and insecurities was a little unnerving.  "Magnus, I love you," Becca said, raising her head and looking into his eyes.  She moved forward slowly, cupping his face in her hands and pushing her lips to his.  Magnus's body tensed automatically, but it took his brain a few seconds to catch up and register what was happening.  Becca took this as permission to deepen her kiss, and ran her tongue across the seam of Magnus's lips.  The action jolted Magnus from his shocked paralysis.

Magnus pulled his arms from where they were wrapped around Becca's body, and placed his hands gently on her chest, pushing her back with light but constant pressure.  She sprung back and jumped out of Magnus's lap immediately, and Magnus wasn't sure if she was reacting to his obvious lack of enthusiasm, or something she had Seen through her gift.

Whimpering in shame, Becca crab-crawled back to the far corner of the cell, folding in on herself.  Magnus quickly followed, running his bound hands up and down her arm, stroking her like she was a frightened puppy.  "Hey, Becca, look at me," Magnus implored, kindness radiating from his voice.

"I'm sorry," Becca whispered, keeping her eyes firmly clamped into her knees.

"Want to tell me what that was all about?" Magnus inquired.

"I just...I've been dreaming about you so long, and I love you so much, I needed to show you," Becca stammered.  Magnus bit his lip and closed his eyes.  He was pretty sure he was about to find out just how tragic Becca's childhood really was.  "I mean, that's how you show someone you love them, right?  By... you know..." Becca trailed off.

Magnus helpfully filled in the blanks.  "By being intimate?"

Becca nodded, and continued, "yah, by having sex.  That's the only time anyone has every told me that they loved me."

If Magnus could have made things explode with the mere power of his mind, that brothel where Becca grew up would have been ash and dust, along with everyone in it and everyone who had ever been a client.  Instead he bit back his overwhelming anger, and concentrated on the fragile girl next to him.  With a finger under her chin, Magnus encouraged her to lift her head, and rest it on his shoulder.  "Sweetie, I'm so sorry.  No child should have to go through what you did.  Your mother failed you, so horribly.  She never told you that she loved you?"  Becca shook her head against Magnus's arm, and his heart fractured just a bit more.  "Love doesn't have to be sexual or romantic in nature.  And your family doesn't have to be made up of blood relatives.  I've been alive for centuries, I don't have any biological family left.  But I've made my own, of good friends, who I love dearly.  You can have that too.  You WILL have that, I'll make sure of it.  You can be part of my family, and I will love you all your life, like a little sister.  Is that ok?"

Becca turned her face to look at Magnus, and shot him a tentative smile.  "That sounds wonderful," she said.  Her smile slowly turned into a frown, as she admitted, "I don't know how to live like that."

"I'll teach you," Magnus promised.  "My family and I, we will teach you."

Becca expelled a huge sigh, but it didn't sound like frustration to Magnus, more like relief.  Like she was ready to be taken care of for the first time in her life.  "I love you," Magnus whispered into her hair, and felt her tremble at the words.  

"Thank you," she replied.  A comfortable silence descended over them.  After a few minutes, Becca broke it by asking, "who is Alec?  You think about him a lot."  Magnus reacted like a jolt of electricity had run through his body, jerking him slightly at the mention of his boyfriend's name.  "Oh," Becca muttered, before Magnus had time to answer, "you love him.  Like, actual non-platonic, non-family member, want to spend the rest of your life together love him."

"I do," Magnus admitted with a whisper.

"It's so strong, your love for him," Becca said with awe in her voice.  "It's almost overpowering my thoughts."  Magnus huffed out a laugh.  He knew exactly how much he loved Alexander - too much, too fast, too hard, right from the very beginning.  He couldn't explain it, it just was there, and he was powerless to stop it.  "You have a idea, I can see it," Becca said, her eyes glazed over.  "I think it will work."

Hope coursed through Magnus.  "Let's get planning then."

* * *

Once Alec was sure Sebastian had left the Institute for the night, he set up a meeting with Jem and Clary for the early hours of the morning.  They met in the basement room used by Alec and Jem previously, far away from prying eyes.

Alec filled them in on his theory that Sebastian was the kidnapper.  Even without hard proof, they both agreed.  "There is something really...off about him," Clary shuddered.  "I've caught him staring at me a few times.  It's really intense."

Clary insisted on contacting Luke and Simon, bringing them up to speed, regardless of the risks involved with communicating over cell phones.  The situation was quickly coming to a head, and would be resolved soon, one way or another.

"I still don't know where Magnus is," Alec growled, his frustration spilling over.  "It does me little fucking good to know Sebastian is responsible if I don't know what his plans are."

"Are you still trying to track Magnus?" Jem asked soothingly.

"Yes!" Alec shouted.  "Everyday, multiple times a day.  I never feel anything."

"Keep at it," Jem said.  "Sebastian made a mistake looking at your text on Magnus's phone.  Maybe he's getting messy and will slip up.  Kidnapping Magnus is probably just one piece in a very large, evil puzzle he's trying to build."

"That doesn't actually make me feel better," Alec said, cradling his head in his hands.  Time was running out, he could feel it.  Losing Magnus was just not an option.  Alec refused to even consider a world without Magnus Bane in it.

Jem squeezed Alec's shoulder quickly.  "Sorry."  He moved to the door, pausing before opening the handle.  "I've got to contact someone who may be able to help.  I'm not making any promises, but it's worth a shot.  I'll be back as soon as I can.  Clary, please stay here with Alec."  He rushed quickly out of the door, leaving Alec and Clary behind in an awkward silence.

Clary broke it by clearing her throat, and said, "if you do get a location on Magnus, Luke said he and his pack will come with you.  Simon and Raphael too.  And me, of course."

Alec was overwhelmed.  "Clary, you don't have to do that."

"I want to.  Magnus is my friend.  And you...you are too. Right?"  It wasn't often that Clary looked unsure, and it lightened the mood for Alec slightly.

"Yes Fray, of course we are friends."  And it was true.  Alec held no animosity towards Clary anymore.  In fact, he thought of her quite fondly.  Quiet descended over them once again, but this time, it was companionable and peaceful.  

* * *

Magnus was ready.  He wasn't sure if his plan would work, but he was prepared to go out fighting.  Talking to Becca had reminded him of his wonderful friends and family.  Sebastian couldn't take that away from him, no matter how hard he tried.  And boy, had he tried.

When Jonathan came sidling up to the cell door, Magnus put on his best defeated face.  Morgenstern picked up on it right away.  "Well Warlock, are you ready to join our cause, and fight for me?  Or do you chose to die?  Whatever the answer, it will happen tonight when I return from the Institute.  I have some unfinished business to tidy up today.  Then tomorrow, I mobilize to take over the Shadow World."

"I chose to live," Magnus replied, hanging his head and not meeting Jonathan's eyes.  "And since I have nothing and no one left to live for outside of here, I've decided to join with you."

A wide and terrifying smile lit up Jonathan's face.  "I knew you'd see it my way," he bragged.  "Just in time, the female Warlock has pretty much outlived her usefulness."

 _Dot?_  Magnus thought, dread clutching at this throat.  Suddenly it was difficult to breath.  But he had to keep up appearances.

"The injections have rendered her practically useless.  But even more disturbing is my doubts of her loyalty.  You see, I know she paid you a visit.  Was she trying to help you escape?"  Magnus couldn't answer, the words were stuck in his throat.  "It doesn't matter, she'll be disposed of like the rest of the prisoners still here."  Jonathan waved his hand, indicating the few Downworlders left in the cells.  "I bet you are curious how I knew about her betrayal.  There are security cameras all through this prison.  I can see everything that goes on in here.  In fact, I saw a touching little moment between you and the slut last night.  I guess you've really moved on from Alec, huh?  When you are working for me, you'll have to try a little harder to keep it in your pants."

In all Magnus's life, he had never been more revolted by someone.  It took every ounce of patience and determination he possessed to not drop his act and curse Morgenstern out.  Instead he kept his head bowed submissively.

"Be ready to get to work this evening," Jonathan stated, turning on his heel and walking from the prison.

As previously planned, Magnus waited about an hour before turning to Becca and smiling.  "It's now or never."  He drew on all his memories of Alec.  Their first meeting, healing Luke, Izzy's trial, the wedding, Magnus's fire escape, their first date, first kiss, first time, first I love you.  Hundreds of little moments shared between them, secret smiles and private conversations and lingering touches.  Magnus took all that love and let it surge through his body, let it inundate his every pore.  The bonds around his hands exploded with the intense force of his emotion, throwing him back into the stone wall.  He was left dazed and gasping for breath.

Magnus stared down at his hands, now free of their binding.  His wrists ached, a sharp fiery pain pulsed through them and up his arms, causing his head to swim.  But he could work through the pain.  The important thing was that he had his magic back.  "It worked," he whispered, awe and wonder in his voice.  "It really worked, I wasn't sure."

He pulled himself to his feet, grim determination on his face.  "Let's get the fuck out of here."

* * *

Alec thought he caught a small nap before Jem reappeared.  "Things are in place," he stated.  Alec had no idea what things he was talking about, but he trusted Jem completely.

Alec had the omamori grasped in his hand, and tried for what felt like the millionth time to track Magnus.  "Holy fuck!" he exclaimed, shooting to his feet.  "I've got something!"  He concentrated every cell in his body towards tracking Magnus.  "It's...hazy?  But I'm getting a general directional pull.  Let's go!"  Alec was about to tear from the room when Jem grabbed his arm and swung him around.

"Slow down," he commanded, pulling Alec back into the room.  "We can take a minute to come up with a plan."

"Yah, right, ok," Alec babbled.  "Clary, get a hold of Luke.  Let him know I'm tracking Magnus, have him meet up with us."  Alec wished he had Izzy and Jace by his side.  The trio had trained together for countless hours growing up, and could communicate with their body language.

"On it," replied Clary excitedly, tapping at her phone.

"Jem, you-"

"I'm not coming with you," Jem stated, shocking Alec.  "I would love to, but I will be more helpful here.  I'll keep an eye on Sebastian - he's already back at the Institute, I just saw him.  I'll do everything I can to keep him away from you.  Just find Magnus."  Alec did his best to swallow down the terror he felt for his friend. What Jem was planning could turn dangerous in a hurry.  "Don't worry about me, I've got a trick up my sleeve.  You and Clary get geared up and find some weapons.  Go!"

Alec and Clary raced away, pausing at the weapons room to grab what gear and weapons they could.  They sprinted to the door, leaving bewildered Shadowhunters in their wake.  Vaguely, Alec noticed posters adorning the walls of the hallways.  He slowed to take a better look.  In bright red letters at the top were the words: WANTED TRAITOR.  Underneath was a picture of Magnus, still in the clothes from the last time Alec saw him over a week ago.  He had a girl on his lap, the same girl in the picture that had been text to him.  Magnus and the girl were kissing.

Clary had noticed the posters too, and looked at Alec with a concerned expression.  He shook his head, trying to dislodge the image from his mind.  He needed to focus on his tracking, he couldn't let anything cloud his concentration.  The most important thing right now was finding Magnus.

Everything else could be dealt with later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One (or possibly two) more chapters left. The last one will either be quite long, or I'll split it in two if I can find a logical place to separate them.
> 
> I wanted to thank you all for reading, commenting, giving kudos, and just being generally awesome!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter did turn into a monster, so I split it into two. They will be posted at the same time. Hope you enjoy.

Tracking Magnus wasn't the same as Alec's past experiences.  Sometimes the link was fragile and mostly muted, causing Alec to panic at the thought of it fading out altogether.  Occasionally it would flare up, brilliant and bright, and Alec swore he could feel not just Magnus's general whereabouts, but an emotional connection to the Warlock as well.  Alec was not sure why it was different this time, but he suspected the answer was Magnus.  He couldn't pinpoint Magnus's location, it was more like he was being drawn towards him.  It made coordinating with Luke's pack rather difficult.  But with no set bearings, there was no way to make a portal.  Alec sent a silent prayer to Raziel that their destination was not too far away, and that Magnus was safe.

As the tracking led them to an industrial area by the water, Alec let out a sigh of relief.  This was exactly what Tessa had described, so they must be on the right track.  His body was being compelled forward, as if attached to an invisible cable.  Alec stopped in front of an abandoned warehouse, and knew they had found the target.  Adrenaline crackled through Alec's nerves.  All eyes were on him, awaiting his orders.  He took a moment to steady himself, gulping in lungfuls of air and trying to clear his head.  One of the younger pups in Luke's pack had gotten antsy; she sprung forward towards the warehouse at top speed.  "No, stop!" Alec cried out, but it was too late.  The wolf smashed into an invisible wall, and was thrown through the air.  She landed with a thud and a whimper.  Alec could tell even from the distance that her face and front legs had been severely damaged.

"It's warded," Alec groaned.  He should have anticipated this.  Breaking wards was extremely time-consuming and challenging even for the most skilled Warlocks.  Why hadn't he asked Tessa or Catarina to come?  It was his fault, he had wanted to set out as soon as possible, and hadn't taken enough time to properly plan.  Maybe Clary had her phone, she could contact Catarina, there was still hope.

Alec turned towards Clary, preparing to bark out the command.  His mouth slammed shut with a snap when she came into his line of sight.  Clary was kneeling on the ground, head clutched in her hands, eyes squeezed shut in pain. She looked like she was dying.

* * *

Magnus's magic flooded back through him so powerfully, he felt like he was having an out of body experience.  He didn't have as much control as he would have liked.  Part of him was scared by that, but another part was elated.  That second part wanted to destroy everything in his path. 

Breaking his binding hadn't been quiet, and soon enough, Jonathan's minions had descended into the prison hallway.  Magnus's magic acted seemingly of its own accord, bursting from his hands to slam the cell door open, and knocking every guard down, instantly snuffing out their lives.  In the back of his mind, Magnus knew he should feel some remorse.  He didn't.

Magnus turned towards Becca, expecting her to be terror-stricken.  Instead of fear, he saw gratitude and respect in her eyes, and he managed to give her a small smile.  He reached out a hand to pull her to her feet and from the cell, but something was wrong.  His hands, the pain is his arms, it wasn't just from the binding.  Both of his wrists were broken, causing his hands to flop awkwardly at the end of his arms.

He didn't have time to deal with injuries right now.  He drew Becca under his arm, snuggling her into his side.  They made their way down the hallway, Magnus opening cells as they passed.  Most of the imprisioned Downworlders couldn't walk on their own, but Magnus didn't stop to help them.  He wanted to make sure all of Jonathan's people were dealt with first.

Behind the door at the end of the hallway, a sharp set of stairs led up to an adandoned warehouse.  Magnus encountered no other guards along the way.  Jonathan had obviously been telling the truth about his plan being ready - the place was practically abandoned, with only a small number of guards left behind.  There was only one more thing Magnus needed to do.

"Dot!" Magnus cried.  "Dot, where are you?"  He could feel her magic; it was very faint, but she was definitely alive. 

"Concentrate hard on her," Becca said.  "Think about her face, her personality, your friendship.  I may be able to See her."

Magnus did as asked, and within a few minutes, Becca was running off to a darkened corner of the warehouse, rifling through large boxes.  She pulled Dot out of the third one, gently resting the female Warlock on the floor.  Dot was unconscious, her breathing was quite shallow and her face was deathly pale.  Magnus used some of his dwindling magic to heal her slightly, enough so that she would wake up and be able to walk on her own.

Everything about the escape seemed way too easy up until this point.  So Magnus wasn't surprised to sense wards around the building when he approached the entrance.  Getting through another Warlock's wards was nearly impossible.  Magnus was pretty sure Dot had contributed to setting these wards up, but there was traces of other magic as well.  The more Warlocks that had helped, the more difficult they would be to unravel.  But Magnus didn't really have any other choice.  It was get out, or die trying.  He would drain all the magic from his body before he gave up.

"Becca, I'm going to try to bring down the wards.  I need you to promise me something."  Becca stared at him with big, round eyes full of fear.  "If the wards fall, you and Dot need to run out of here without hesitation.  Don't look for me.  Don't look back.  Just go.  Do you promise?"

Becca was shaking her head violently. "No, no, I can't," she muttered under her breath.

"You have to," Magnus replied calmly.  "I need to know that you both are safe.  Go to the Institute, find Alec. He will protect you.  Promise me."

"I...I promise," Becca stuttered, tears rolling down her cheeks.  Dot gave Magnus a feeble nod, also agreeing. 

"Ok then, that's settled."  Shutting his eyes, he focused on the wards, and got to work.  

* * *

Alec stared at Clary, not knowing what to do.  All hell was breaking loose around him.  The pack was reacting poorly to their fallen member, while Luke and Simon were hovering over Clary, trying desperately to pull her to her feet.  

Clary pushed the helpful hands off of her, and she ran over to Alec, enthusiasm evident on her face.  "I think I can take down the wards!" she screeched excitedly.  "With a Rune."  She grabbed her stele and traced a Rune onto each palm.  Alec had certainly never seen anything like it before.  She held both hands up, palms pointed towards the warehouse.  It reminded Alec a little of Magnus's magic, and he was suddenly filled with an intense longing to see his boyfriend.  God, he hoped this worked.

The wards were not visible to his eyes, so when Clary dropped her hands, they all stood in silence for a moment, not sure if the Rune had been effective.  Alec was expecting a fight, some soldiers pouring out of the warehouse, anything but the all-encompassing inactivity they were met with.   Alec was the leader, he'd be the one to test it.  He stepped forward towards the building, just as the door opened and two people came out, supporting each other's body weight.  Everyone surged toward them at once.

"Wait, it's Dot," Clary yelled.  "Don't hurt them."

Luke reached them first.  "Are there others inside?" he asked quickly.

"Yes," Dot answered, just as fast.  "They are in the basement.  The cells are open, but most are too weak to walk.  And Magnus, he's still in there."

Luke gestured for the pack to move forward, and they ran into the building, Alec close on their heels.  His mind was consumed with rescuing Magnus.

The captured Downworlders were quickly carried outside by the wolves.  Alec remained in the prison with Luke, desperately searching for a glimpse of Magnus.  He was no where to be seen.  There was, however, the bodies of about twelve Shadowhunters in the hallway.  There was no sign of weapon damage.  "Magic," Luke muttered.  "Magnus killed these people."  Alec felt his whole body tense up and shiver.  He knew Magnus was a very powerful Warlock.  But seeing the evidence of that power, and what his wrath looked like, was something Alec had been unprepared for. 

They made their way back outside.  Alec was hopeful he would see Magnus out there, maybe healing one of the Downworlders or reuniting with Clary.  No such luck.  He was left spinning in circles, scanning the surrounding area, searching for Magnus.  It was like a replay of the night the Soul Sword was activated all over again.

Where the fuck was Magnus?   _I am officially the worst rescuer in the entire world,_ Alec thought dejectedly.  

A loud explosion rang out, and everyone was thrown back a few feet from the building. Alec scrambled to his feet.  The warehouse was engulfed with fire.  He rushed towards it, determined to get inside and find Magnus.  Another explosion rocked the ground, throwing him back once more.  This time as he pulled himself up, he spotted a familiar figure walking out of the burning building. 

"Magnus!" Alec tried to scream, but it came out in more of a choked yowl.  Magnus's cat eyes were sparking a beautiful gold in the fire light.  He was surrounded by the reddish-orange glow of magic seeping from his body.  He looked otherworldly and forceful and feral.  Magnus Bane didn't need anyone to rescue him, he was a force of nature in his own right.  Alec had never seen anything more beautiful or captivating in his entire life.

The illusion was shattered when Magnus stumbled and fell to his knees, clutching his hands to his chest.  Alec sprinted forward and scooped him effortlessly into his arms.  He planted sweet kisses on Magnus's forehead and eyebrows, just gentle touches of his lips that wouldn't cause any pain.  Magnus struggled to focus his eyes.  Alec's breath caught in his throat when Magnus's cat eyes finally found his own.  "Alexander," Magnus whispered, a small smile playing on his lips.  Then his head dropped, and his body sagged in Alec's arms.

Alec knew he should be leading his team, planning their retreat, but he was unable to do anything but cradle and stare at Magnus.  Just a moment ago the Warlock had exuded a primal energy and vitality that left Alec's head reeling.  Now Magnus appeared close to death, his breathing ragged and shallow.  Alec's stomach dropped when he attempted to grab one of Magnus's hands, and discovered the damage there.  He gingerly pressed his palm to Magnus's, hoping it was enough to transfer some of his strength.

Thankfully Clary and Luke had kept level heads, and were getting everyone organized.  Clary was clutching Dot's hand, lending her strength to form a portal.  "Alec, hurry up.  We need to get back to the Institute."  The injured Downworlders were being ushered into the portal by Luke.  His pack had disappeared, taking the wounded young wolf with them.

Alec gripped Magnus tighter, and shook his head vigorously at Clary.  Sebastian was at the Institute, there was no way he would take Magnus there.

Luke moved towards them, and Alec let out a low warning growl.  Luke raised his hands in surrender.  "Alec, it's ok," he said soothingly.  "Jem contacted us.  It is safe to go to the Institute, they are expecting you."  When Alec gave no indication of moving, Luke gently continued, "Magnus will be safe there."

"Dot can't keep this portal open much longer," Clary wheezed.  Both Clary and Dot looked utterly wrecked.  

Alec shuffled to his feet, still holding Magnus tight to his chest, and approached the portal.  A strangled cry made him stop for a moment, and he looked down to see Magnus's cell mate.  She was staring at Magnus like he was her reason for living.  Hurt and jealousy tried to worm their way into Alec's heart, but he stamped them down.  "Make sure she makes it through the portal," he said to Clary, angling his head to indicate the young girl at his feet.  

They stepped out of the portal right outside the Institute's front doors.  Jem and about a dozen other Shadowhunters were waiting for them.

A huge, warm smile broke out over Jem's face, and tears poured down his cheeks.  "You did it!  You rescued Magnus."  He ushered them in the front door, and lead them to the Institute's healing room.  "He's going to be ok, Alec."

Alec just nodded.  He didn't trust himself to speak.  Once in the hospital wing, he deposited Magnus onto a bed with great care. He stood next to the bed with his arms at his sides, not sure what to do next.

Jem grabbed his attention once again.  "I know you will want to be with Magnus as he heals, so I'll make this quick.  The Clave has arrested Sebastian.  Aldertree is being questioned as well.  Everything is going to be fine."  Jem could see Alec's attention slipping.  "The longer, more thrilling version can wait.  Be with Magnus.  I'll talk to you soon."

Alec stared down at Magnus.  He had always thought of the Warlock as timeless; an immortal being who was as essential to the earth's survival as the rising sun.  Seeing Magnus look so broken was a huge shock, and it brought out Alec's fierce protective side.  Taking great care not to jostle Magnus's damaged hands too much, he climbed into the bed, and folded his gangly body around his boyfriend's back.  Public displays of affection weren't really Alec's thing, but he just couldn't be bothered to give a fuck right now.  Screw what any other Shadowhunters thought about his sexuality, or his choice of lover.  Magnus needed him.

A Warlock Alec had never met before approached the bed.  "I'm Catarina, a friend of Magnus's," she said, smiling down at them.

"Alec.  Thanks for your help," Alec replied.

"Well, I didn't do much, but I was happy to provide Clary with whatever information I could."  Catarina eyed Magnus's still frame, and the smile slid off her face.  "My specialty is actually healing magic.  With your permission, I would like to help Magnus."

Alec nodded his consent.  He closed his eyes and snuggled into Magnus while Catarina performed her magic.  When she stopped, Alec opened his eyes and asked, "how is he?  Will he be ok?"

There was a long silence before Catarina replied, and it chilled Alec to the bone.  "Physically, he will be fine.  His wrists are badly broken, but they are knitting together now, and should be fully healed by tomorrow morning.  His life force is extremely low.  I'm assuming he taxed himself greatly using his magic.  He could have killed himself.  But I could feel you in there Alec.  You gave him your strength, and it kept him alive.  Everything else is just superficial injuries; some cuts and bruising."  Catarina paused and gave Alec a probing look.  "Mentally, I don't know.  Who can say how much he endured while being held captive?  From what Jem has told me about Sebastian, it couldn't have been a walk in the park.  But Magnus has always been tough.  He's much more durable than he looks."  Catarina narrowed her eyes at Alec.  "I saw those posters when I first arrived.  They are all down now, thanks to Jem, but I'm sure you saw them too.  Please be kind to Magnus, don't abandoned him when he is vulnerable."

Alec closed his eyes again, and heard Catarina step away with a sigh.  He didn't want to be reminded of those posters.  He didn't want to think about Magnus locked in someone else's embrace, lips pressed together in a kiss.  He just wanted to go back to the way things were before Magnus was kidnapped, when they had exchanged I love you's, and their relationship held nothing but excitement and promise.

Alec buried his face in Magnus's neck.  He smoothed his cheek on Magnus's hair over and over again, breathing in the scent.  Even after a week of captivity, he still smelled like Magnus.  Alec whispered in his ear, the same words, repeated like a mantra, until the tears stopped flowing from his eyes and he fell asleep from exhaustion.  "I love you Magnus Bane."

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

Magnus woke up with a gasp, and tried to sit up.  Catarina raced over, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.  "Calm down Magnus.  You're safe."

Magnus looked around groggily.  "Where am I?" he wondered out loud.

"You're at the New York Institute," Catarina explained.  "The Clave requested that I care for all the injured prisoners.  Everyone that Sebastian captured was being treated here."

"Sebastian?" Magnus asked.  "It was Valentine's son, Jonathan, that kidnapped me."

"Yes, the Clave just figured that out.  Jonathan was posing as Sebastian Verlac, to gain access to the Institute."

Magnus pondered this statement for a moment.  He knew he should be more interested in Jonathan's plans, and what was happening now, but he really only had one thing on his mind.  "Cat, is Alexander ok?"

Catarina rubbed his shoulder and nodded.  "Yes, he's fine. Not a scratch on him."

"Oh," Magnus muttered sadly.  All he wanted was see Alec.  Why wasn't he here?

Catarina could read his face like a book.  "He spent all day yesterday and the whole of last night curled up in your bed, Magnus.  He was whispering sweet nothings in your ear for hours."  She rolled her eyes at her friend.  "He does have a job to do, you know."

"He spent all that time here with me?" Magnus asked, a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Yup," Catarina said, smiling fondly down at him.  "In front of everyone.  Some Clave envoys came in to speak to him, and he just ignored them.  Kept his eyes closed and refused to stop cuddling you."

Magnus flopped back onto the pillows, a beautiful smile alighting his face.  "How are the other prisoners?  And Dot and Becca?"

"The prisoners are fine.  It will take them a while to fully recover from the injections and experimentation, but I was able to heal them enough to send them all home.  Unsurprisingly, none of them felt comfortable in the Institute for an extended period of time.  Dot is doing well too.  She's staying with Clary in her room."  Catarina lowered her voice and leaned closer to Magnus.  "The girl though, Becca?  She says she doesn't have anywhere to go.  She had to leave the healing room when it was determined she wasn't physically injured, but she is still here somewhere." 

"She has no one, Cat.  We are her family now."  Catarina gazed at Magnus with affection and exasperation.  He was such a contradiction.  A tender-hearted Prince of Hell.

* * *

Alec couldn't believe how much Jem had accomplished in the short time they were on the rescue mission.  No one had ever gone from being a Silent Brother back to a Shadowhunter before, and due to this, Jem still commanded quite a bit of respect with certain members of the Clave.  It didn't take long to prove that the Sebastian Verlac being hosted at the New York Institute was actually an imposter.  Once Alec returned with the prisoners, Dot was able to verify his true identity as Valentine Morgenstern's son.  It still made Alec's head spin.  Sebastian/Jonathan had been arrested and was being held in the City of Bones, but he wasn't talking.  What he wanted with Magnus, and his ultimate goal, was still a mystery.

"I'm sorry l left you alone to deal with everything yesterday," Alec said, hanging his head and rubbing the back of his neck.

Jem laughed and caught Alec in a warm hug.  "Don't worry about it, the Clave took over everything once they arrived.  I just let them boss me around.  Besides, you needed that time with Magnus."

"Yah, about that."  Alec pulled away from Jem and leaned back on the wall.  "I know you saw those posters of Magnus."

Jem waited for Alec to continue, but as the silence stretched on, he spoke up.  "I did, of course.  Sebastian put them up.  Aldertree was dumbfounded when he saw them, it looks like he had nothing to do with Sebastian's plot."  Jem rolled his eyes and went on, "that doesn't mean he isn't a judgemental bully with a small brain, but he's probably not in league with Valentine."

Alec's eyes remained firmly planted on the floor.  "He was kissing someone else."

"Oh Alec," Jem murmured softly.  "Did you ask Magnus about it?"

"No.  He was asleep the entire time I was with him.  And now I'm scared to go back and see him," Alec admitted.  "He probably realized that I'm not good enough for him."

Jem stepped forward and grasped both of Alec's wrists. "I don't know why you doubt yourself so much.  You are smart, loyal, and kind.  Good at your job.  Independent and stoic.  Not to mention tall, dark and handsome, which I'm sure Magnus finds very attractive.  Magnus loves you, and why wouldn't he?"

"Maybe he does.  But for how long?"  Alec looked into Jem's eyes.  "I thought love was supposed to be straightforward.  Why is this so...complicated?"

Jem's laugh rang out like a bell.  "I can't answer that.  Both times I was in love, it couldn't have been more complicated."  He squeezed Alec's wrists again.  "They were both worth it, though.  Totally and completely."

Alec didn't respond, just kept leaning on the wall.  "Ok, let's try something," Jem said.  "Close your eyes."

Alec did as told.  He felt Jem's hands leave his wrists, and move to cup his neck. Alec's body tensed, not knowing what to expect.  He opened his eyes and blurted, "are you going to kiss me?"

Jem just laughed.  "Close your eyes," he repeated.  Alec did again.  He was so nervous, he could feel sweat trickling down his back.  "Think about kissing me.  Picture it in your mind.  Now think about what a relationship between us would be like."

Alec tried to follow Jem's instructions.  "What do you see?"  Jem asked.

Alec sighed.  "Magnus.  I'm sorry, all I can see is Magnus."

"Open your eyes," Jem said cheerfully.  He was smiling widely at Alec.  "There's your answer.  You love Magnus, even though it's hard, even though he's different than you.  That's all that matters Alec."

Alec reached forward and pulled Jem roughly to his chest.  "Thank you," he said.  "Hey, you weren't really going to kiss me, were you?"

Jem chuckled into Alec's shirt.  "No, I was never going to kiss you, I just wanted to prove a point."  He detached himself from Alec and stood back.  "But I am infinitely glad to have met you, Alec Lightwood, even if it was under tragic circumstances.  I hope we remain good friends."

"We will," Alec promised.

"I'm going to contact Tessa. She will want to know that Magnus is ok, and it's time I met her as Jem Carstairs again.  I wonder if she will even recognize me?"

"If you're being that brave, I guess I can be too," Alec said, but his voice sounded hesitant.

"You know," Jem mused, "I saw the girl Magnus was imprisioned with not long ago.  She was hanging around outside the healing room.  Maybe you should talk to her."

It was as good an idea as any, especially since Alec had to go to the hospital wing anyway to check on Magnus.  She was right were Jem said, lingering by the door to the healing room.  Alec approached cautiously, not wanting to startle her.  She looked at him warily for a moment, then started to shuffle away down the hall.  "Hey, wait!" Alec called.  Her shoulders hunched up, but she stopped.  "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

The girl remained quiet, but did turn around to face him.  "I'm Alec."

"I know," she replied.  "My name is Becca."

"Hi Becca," Alec said.  A tense silence hung in the air.  What the hell was he supposed to say to this girl?  "Ummm, are you doing ok?"

Becca stared at him with a stony expression.  "I'm fine.  I just have no where to go.  They are trying to decided what to do with me."  A small choking sound escaped her throat, like she was trying to swallow back tears.  "I want to talk to Magnus."

"How do you know Magnus?" Alec asked.

"He didn't tell you?"  Alec shook his head.  "I'd rather not talk about it then."  Becca's eyes bored into Alec, like she could read his thoughts and see his soul.  "What do you really want to know, Alec?  It's obvious you want to ask me something."  When Alec didn't answer, Becca continued, "I'm not a normal mundane.  I've got the Sight.  So I can probably answer your questions more accurately than anyone else in this place."

Alec inhaled a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts. What did he want to ask this frail girl?  "No, never mind," he sputtered out.  

He turned to enter the healing room, but Becca reached out and grabbed his wrist.  After brief contact, she dropped it like she was burned.  "Oh," she whispered, shutting her eyes.  "You know about...that...the kiss.  I offered Magnus comfort in the only way I know how.  I refuse to feel guilty about it."  She glared at Alec defiantly.  Her stern face reminded him of Izzy, and if his relationship hadn't been on the line, he would have cracked a smile at the thought.  "If it makes you feel better, Magnus did not instigate or encourage that kiss.  He sees me like a sister."  Her voice dropped to a reverent whisper.  "He's going to help me, he's going to be my family."

Alec didn't know what this poor girl had been through, but it was obviously pretty bad.  "I guess that will make you my family, too," Alec said haltingly.

"I guess so.  If you stay together with Magnus."

Alec took a step back.  He felt like he'd been shot.  "Why wouldn't we stay together?  Did you See something when you touched me?  Is Magnus going to break up with me?"

"You know, in Magnus's thoughts, you weren't this stupid," Becca replied with a frown.  "Ask me what you really want to know."

He called on all his courage, and dared to ask, "can Magnus and I be happy together?  Like, long term?  Can we make it as a couple, get married, all that stuff?"

Becca grabbed his wrist again.  "Can you?  Of course you can, Alec.  It's all there is your future, plain as day.  Will you?  That's another question.  The future is not written in stone, you know.  Your decisions will affect the outcome.  Do you love Magnus?  Then you will need to choose him, every day.  Lots of days, that will be easy.  I can See how much you care about each other.  But there will be lots of times where choosing Magnus will be hard.  It's the decisions you make when the choice is difficult that really matter.  If he's worth it to you, every single day, then the two of you will have a long, happy life together, full of friends and family.  But really, it's up to you."

Alec stifled a sob.  He wanted that, the long, happy life with Magnus, even if the road to it was bumpy.  Nothing in Alec's life had been easy, why should that change now?  The difference this time was that Alec was choosing something for himself.  Not for the Clave, or his parents, or to make Jace and Izzy happy.  Alec thought about how Magnus looked coming out of the warehouse, and the dead Shadowhunters he left behind in the prison.  It was Alec's first time really witnessing Magnus's true power.  He had the ability to blow up the world, yet he was one of the most patient and compassionate people that Alec had ever met.  Who wouldn't chose that every day?

"Can you give me some time alone with Magnus?" Alec asked Becca.  "I swear, as soon as I'm done, you can come see him."

For the first time, Becca smiled in front of Alec.  It lit up her whole face.  "Of course.  Don't rush."

Alec smiled back, then entered the hospital.  There were only two people in it, and both turned to look at Alec when he entered.  Magnus was propped up on pillows, talking to Catarina, who was hovering near the edge of the bed.  Alec didn't even notice Catarina leave the room; he was too busy staring at Magnus.

Magnus held out his arms, and Alec rushed into them, practically throwing himself into his boyfriend's lap.  "I was so worried I'd never see you again."

"I had the same fears," Magnus admitted, stroking Alec's hair.

"Magnus, I...I love you.  So much."  Alec planted a kiss on Magnus's neck.  "I'm hoping to be able to tell you that on a normal day, instead of after a life-and-death situation, very soon.  Can we make that happen?"

Magnus giggled into Alec's hair.  "You have no idea how wonderful that sounds."  They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, Magnus playing with Alec's hair and kissing his head, while Alec sniffed and kissed Magnus's neck.  Then Magnus spoke up.  "I love you too, Alexander.  But are you sure?"

Oh no.  Alec felt bile rise into his throat.  "What do you mean?"

"I was just wondering, if maybe you'd met somebody new?  Someone things would be easier with?  Someone more suited to your lifestyle?"  Magnus asked Alec the questions with casual nonchalance, but Alec could feel his hand shaking where it was still lodged in his hair.

"What are you talking about?" Alec replied, at a total loss.  

"Jonathan, or Sebastian as you know him.  He captured me to break me.  He wanted to use me in his plan to overthrow the Shadow World."  Magnus's body was racked with a large shiver.  "He figured out early that my weakness was loneliness.  He worked hard on severing my relationships with loved ones."

Alec was horrified.  "What did he say about me?  What did he tell you?"

"He showed me pictures of you and another man, a Shadowhunter.  In...cozy situations.  He told me you had moved on, that it took only days of me being out of your life for you to find someone better."  Magnus's whole body was tense, waiting to hear what Alec would say.

"Jem," Alec whispered dully.

Magnus nodded.  "It was meant to be a double blow.  My boyfriend and an old friend, hooking up, ditching me for each other.  Jonathan enjoyed taunting me with your relationship."

"And you actually believed him?"  Alec couldn't believe what he was hearing.  After everything, there was a chance he could still lose Magnus.

"Actually, no.  Most of the time, when I was in my right mind, I didn't believe him.  But the drugs and the nightmares didn't help.  They preyed on my deepest fears."

"Oh my god, Magnus, I can't believe...I wanna...he's a dead man," Alec stuttered.  So many thoughts were whirling in his mind, but he knew the most important thing was to reassure Magnus.  He grabbed the Warlock's face in his hands, and looked deep into his eyes.  "I don't care that you and I are different, that our lifestyles are different, that our ages are different.  I don't want someone easy.  I don't want a Shadowhunter.  I want you, Magnus Bane.  I want you, and everything that comes with you.  Your centuries of history, your fortitude, your strength, your moodiness, your glitter, your understanding, your vanity.  I just want you."  Magnus threw his arms around Alec's shoulders, and they sunk into a bone-crushing hug.  "Sebastian's smart, he made me doubt too, Magnus.  But I know what I want - who I want, and I'll never doubt again."

Magnus was openly sobbing, clutching Alec's shirt like it was keeping him from drowning.  "I want you too, Alexander.  For as long as I can have you.  I knew it from the first moment we met."

Alec laid down on his side in the bed, pulling Magnus along with him.  He tucked the Warlock's head under his chin and threw an arm around Magnus's shoulder, arranging them so their chests were touching.  He wanted to feel Magnus's heartbeat.  Magnus wove a leg in between Alec's, making it hard to see where one man ended and the other began.  It was perfect.  With a flick of his newly healed wrist, Magnus closed the curtain surrounding the bed.  It didn't take long for them to drift off, safe and happy in each other's arms.

* * *

"Magnus, Alec, its time to wake up.  There is someone here to see you."

Magnus groaned and buried his face further in Alec's chest. Some Clave hot shot probably wanted to gather information on Jonathan.  Magnus wasn't in the mood.

"Seriously Magnus, let's go," Catarina huffed.  "As the person in charge of your medical care, I have assured everyone that you are fit as a fiddle.  Move it."

Magnus stifled a laugh.  He loved it when Catarina got grumpy, she was just so easy to rile up.  He shifted to look at Alec, who was already awake, and gazing at Magnus adoringly.  "Well, should we see what all the fuss is about?" Magnus asked.

Alec planted a quick kiss on his nose and nodded.  He reached forward to open the privacy curtain.

What Magnus saw made his heart swell with joy.  The room was filled with people.  Everywhere he looked was a friendly face, smiling at himself and Alec.  Catarina was at the foot of the bed, shaking her head at them.  Clary and Dot were standing with Becca, who actually seemed to be smiling.  She was holding tightly onto Madzie's hand.  Behind them was Luke, his hand resting on Clary's shoulder, a huge grin on his face.  Simon and Raphael were next to Luke.  And ok, maybe Raphael didn't look super impressed to be there, but Magnus knew that was just his way.  Jem and Tessa stood a little apart from everyone else, fingers interwoven.  Magnus couldn't wait to hear the story behind Jem's transformation from Silent Brother back to Shadowhunter.  The only people missing were-

"Alec!" a voice cried out, and something small and speedy ran into the room and launched itself onto the bed.  Alec's little brother Max was clutching Alec around the waist.  If Alec smiled any wider, Magnus was worried his face would crack.  Entering the room behind him were Izzy, Jace, and Alec's parents.

Magnus was overwhelmed with emotion.  He gulped in air, trying to clear his mind.  Tears overflowed for the second time that day.  He nestled his head into Alec's shoulder, and murmured, "look Alexander, it's our family."

Alec had grown up with just his parents and siblings, he never had an extended family.  To be surrounded by so much warmth and goodwill was a forgein concept.  "It's an amazing family," Alec replied, and he meant it.  Everyone in this room was important in his or Magnus's life.  They were lucky to have so many people who cared about them.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day that the great Magnus Bane was struck speechless," Jace joked.  His wisecrack broke the mood in the room, and everyone started mingling amongst themselves.  Magnus and Alec got off the bed to visit with their family.  They did it together, hands joined, fingers intertwined, unwilling to be separated. 

After a while they found themselves alone in a corner, watching their family interact.  "Would it be weird to say that today has been amazing?" Alec asked.

"Magnus smiled and replied, "No, I know exactly what you mean."  He turned his head toward Alec, and was surprised when the Shadowhunter bent down and pressed his lips to Magnus's.

There was some whistling and cat-calling in response to the kiss.  Magnus fully excepted Alec to step away and begin blushing and stuttering.  Instead he wrapped his arms firmly around Magnus's waist, and pulled him in closer.  In front of all their friends and family, Alec chose Magnus, and Magnus had never felt happier in his centuries on the planet.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who stuck with this story, and made it to the end! I appreciate all your lovely comments and kudos.


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